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My Greatest Insecurity Was My Psoriasis But It Taught Me Not To Take What Everyone Thinks Of Me To Heart

What tears you down, will ultimately be the thing that turns you into a fighter.

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My Greatest Insecurity Was My Psoriasis But It Taught Me Not To Take What Everyone Thinks Of Me To Heart
Jake Lucareli

You probably are looking at my cover photo and thinking, "What happened to him? He is covered in red spots?" Well, for those of you who are worried I am dying from some crazy disease or I had some freak accident, it's actually just a harmless auto-immune disease called psoriasis. It was something that I was born with that ignited thanks to a strep throat infection at age five. You can google it for advanced details, but it just causes my skin to be covered in red rough patches like in the picture. It has been the bane of my existence my entire life.

But everybody in my life who I meet always says, "Jake, you are SO CONFIDENT I wish I could be that confident in myself." Well sister girl, it took 13 years for me to get to this point in my life. I had never gone to the beach with a group of friends until I was 18 years old. I never went to a pool party growing up. I never did anything where I risked having my psoriasis exposed. I had been bullied for spots that appeared where I couldn't hide them for so many years, and it developed into an extreme anxiety that I still struggle with.

My greatest anxiety that I struggle with: I worry about what every other person in my life thinks of me. This is largely thanks to my psoriasis and the few people who while growing up wanted to make me feel ashamed of it. I currently am at a place in my life where I feel comfortable in my own skin, but I didn't for 13 years of my life. I did whatever I could to avoid being made fun of in any sort of way, including tearing others down while still in high school, even late middle school. But those who really knew me knew that was just a way to cover up my own anxiety.

Okay, so you've heard my sob story, but I know right now you are wondering what the point of all this backstory has been. We all have that one thing in our lives that eat us up on the inside. Some of us it is our weight, acne, hair, voice, you name it. But what all of these insecurities have in common, is they are all related to our outward appearance. In our current society, we seem to have it within us to judge others instantly based purely on what we see on the outside. I recently had somebody tell me that they didn't like me because my face constantly looks disgusted and I give off a bad vibe when they have met me a total of four times and have never had a legitimate conversation with me.

That killed me. I cried about it actually, and Jake NEVER CRIES in front of others. But it just helped me to realize, that individual judged me purely on what they had seen on the outside and not the person who I am underneath the surface. The same happens when people judge me instantly due to my psoriasis. I get the craziest stares when I take off my shirt at the beach now, but I don't care. I love myself and if they want to judge who I am from far away, then that's their prerogative.

We all have to overcome the anxieties we have about our appearances and remember that there is no such thing as a perfect human. We are all perfectly imperfect. My greatest insecurity is what taught me the greatest lesson of all; not to take what everyone else thinks of me to heart. My parents have taught me that lesson from the beginning of time, but I never actually understood it until I went through it myself.

What do I hope you take away from all of this? I hope you realize that what every person in your life thinks of you, isn't as important as you being happy with who you are. Also, if you are an individual who judges a person purely based on how they are on the outside before getting to know them underneath the surface, then I hope you learned something from my article and my own experiences.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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"Many have asked me for clarity on the phrase, "reckless love". Many have wondered why I'd use a "negative" word to describe God. I've taken some time to write out my thoughts here. I hope it brings answers to your questions. But more than that, I hope it brings you into an encounter with the wildness of His love.When I use the phrase, "the reckless love of God", I'm not saying that God Himself is reckless. I am, however, saying that the way He loves, is in many regards, quite so. What I mean is this: He is utterly unconcerned with the consequences of His actions with regards to His own safety, comfort, and well-being. His love isn't crafty or slick. It's not cunning or shrewd. In fact, all things considered, it's quite childlike, and might I even suggest, sometimes downright ridiculous. His love bankrupted heaven for you. His love doesn't consider Himself first. His love isn't selfish or self-serving. He doesn't wonder what He'll gain or lose by putting Himself out there. He simply gives Himself away on the off-chance that one of us might look back at Him and offer ourselves in return.His love leaves the ninety-nine to find the one every time."
Some people are arguing that song is biblical because it makes reference to the scripture from Matthew 28:12-14 and Luke 15. Both of these scriptures talk about the parable of the lost sheep and the shepherd. The shepherd symbolizes God and the lost sheep are people that do not have a relationship with God. On the other hand some people are arguing that using the term reckless, referring to God's character is heretical and not biblical. I found two articles that discuss the controversy about the song.The first article is called, "Reckless Love" By Cory Asbury - "Song Meaning, Review, and Worship Leading Tips." The writer of the article, Jake Gosselin argues that people are "Making a mountain out of a molehill" and that the argument is foolish. The second article, "God's Love is not Reckless, Contrary to What You Might Sing" by author Andrew Gabriel argues that using the term reckless is irresponsible and that you cannot separate Gods character traits from God himself. For example, saying that God's love is reckless could also be argued that God himself is reckless. Reckless is typically not a word that someone would use to describe God and his love for us. The term reckless is defined as (of a person or their actions) without thinking or caring about the consequences of an action. However, Cory Asbury is not talking about a person, he is talking about God's passionate and relentless pursuit of the lost. While I would not have chosen the word reckless, I understand what he was trying to communicate through the song. Down below I have linked two articles that might be helpful if you are interested in reading more about the controversy.


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