I don't even know where to begin. I guess as some side-bar/need to know back information, I will tell you this. I used to live in South Carolina and that is where my immediate family lives. I moved to New Jersey when my (now) husband started a new job here. It's been about a year and a half now since the big move.
So when we were planning the wedding here in Jersey, it meant everyone would have to travel, and we were very gracious for the lengths that people had to go to be there with us on that day.
I have a husband who comes from a very large family, whom I love dearly. They welcomed me into their family with open arms. His three older sisters are dreams: they are fun, smart, beautiful, and kind. All of his parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, and nephews came to celebrate with us without any hesitation.
My family is on the smaller side. I only had a few people committed to actually coming to my wedding. I was grateful for them, and I do regret not displaying that enough in the couple days they were here. When I look back though, all the stress, anxiety, and endless tasks made the entire weekend a blur and made time go by so fast. I could barely keep up the pace.
We had an evening wedding at an elegant hotel and it was everything I ever dreamed my wedding would be. (Minus the cake, they got the cake design wrong, but the taste was on point). It was a beautiful and breezy afternoon by the bay. The dress code was pretty basic: men had to wear button down shirts. You didn't even have to wear a tie. Just look nice, for one day, for me.
While some of you may be reading this and thinking "yeah, okay, that makes sense, it's a nice place, blah blah blah." To one person, I was so wrong and I was so disrespectful. I was so despicable that I lost one of my flower girls, and I almost lost a bridesmaid (and quite frankly, had I know she was just gonna go and delete me off Facebook later anyway, I would have just told her not to bother).
And that's what sucks. A shirt ruined everything. Honestly, if he would have never come up to the bridal suite. (Why were you even there?) none of this would have ever happened. Zero to a hundred in an instant. Tensions were high that day, I get it, but it shouldn't have ever come down to that.
To make matters worse, I never got to say goodbye to my niece. I'm sure she doesn't understand why she couldn't wear her pretty dress that day.
Last but not least, my mother. You looked gorgeous and THAT is how you should do your hair and make up every day for the rest of your life. While I applaud you for mothering to one of your children that day, I am so hurt that it wasn't me. Of all days for you to have to pick, you didn't choose me on my wedding day, when all I needed or wanted was for you to just be there.
You left me and followed everyone else. I know you know that I don't need you, but for once I needed you to be there with me... just this once. But instead, when I asked you to stay and said (a bit extreme, I know) "If you leave, I will never talk to you again." I would have never in my wildest dreams expected to hear, "that's fine."
I didn't realize asking one of my guests to wear a button-down shirt or asking my mother to stay would make me a "bridezilla." #nowyouknow
Back to a happier note, once that was all gone and the champagne had a chance to work its magic. I am forever thankful for every single person that stayed. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for eating, drinking, dancing, and smiling with us. You are my real family, and I am so blessed to have you in my life.