As I finish my second year in college, I feel like I have enough experience under my belt to pass on some of my ever-so-sophisticated wisdom. I will say, however, that I have been in a long-distance relationship now for almost four years (first him in college, now me) and I can confidently say that we are going just as strong, if not stronger, than we were at the start. After being asked repeatedly “how I do it,” I began to put some thought into this idea of what makes certain relationships resilient enough to withstand the miles that separate them, and why some seemingly “perfect” relationships crumble within a matter of weeks. Below you will find a compilation of tips to keep a long distance relationship healthy and happy.
Distance requires sacrifice.
After stressing myself out and worrying about what I was missing on campus for the first couple of visits home, I realized that there is going to be something fun and exciting happening every weekend, and missing an occasional thing is not the end of the world. I have four years full of weekends to participate in what I choose, but if I want to keep my relationship going I need to see him every once in a while. It is also important to note that visiting your significant other should feel like a treat, not a sacrifice!
Introduce him/her to your new friends!
This is something that is extremely important for those weekends that you leave to go visit him/her -- telling your friends you are leaving doesn’t make them feel like they’re ditching you, they know exactly who you are going to see and they can associate your trip with an actual person. It is also very fun to show him/her off to your new friends at school so they can see exactly why you’re putting in the work for this relationship.
As stated above, you have to put in the work for the relationship.
If you really want long distance to work, you have to realize that it can be difficult at times. There can be days where he/she only calls you while you’re in class, or you can’t seem to end the cruel game of phone tag. It is days like those that you have to find the free second to send a nice text or leave a sweet voicemail because those days can be tough but they will pass, and it is important to let him/her know that among the madness, they’re still on your mind.
You can’t expect it to be exactly like it used to be.
I am not going to lie to you and tell you that long-distance relationships are all rainbows and butterflies. There are days where you may think, “if I have to hear about what he/she ate for lunch one more time, I might lose it.” Just remember that every day is not going to be an exciting adventure, but you love each other and any time you get to talk is time well spent.
Don’t let college pass you by.
While I realize that having that person in your life is important and you stay with them for a reason, you can’t let your boyfriend/girlfriend become your entire life. It is important to find a balance, and embrace college as your own adventure that you want to get the most out of. You do not want to look back at your time in college with any regret because you let it pass you by without really diving in.
