It felt like the worst day of your life, a day you would never forget and a feeling you would never get rid of. It did not feel real. You thought you lost your best friend, your confidant, the love of your life. That night you cried yourself to sleep and woke up with puffy eyes. You check your phone for the daily good morning text but today, nothing. As the day goes on you check your phone to see if they texted but still nothing. Your stomach feels empty but you have no appetite. There is nothing physical than can fill this void in your body. Something slightly interesting happens and you feel the need to pick up your phone and contact the person that cared about everything you did throughout the day, but today you cannot. I am here to tell you this feeling is not permanent, you will not be in this state of mind forever.

When I broke up with my first love I fell into physical pain. I did not eat for days and all my smiles were fake. I am a pretty personal person, so I did not want to talk to anyone about how I was feeling. I tried my hardest to act normal, and only cry in private, but everything reminded me of him. The food I cooked, the shows I watched, the bed I slept in. Nothing felt safe. His things were all around me. His teddy bear, the shirt I borrowed from him, I felt like I was suffocating, but this did not last forever.

I had to make sure I would not contact him. I did not know this at the time but the best thing my ex could have done for me was ignore my calls and texts. He knew if we were to talk it would only take me longer to mourn our situation.

Love is an addiction and a breakup is cutting yourself off from one of the most powerful drugs in the world. Every now and then after the break up I could feel myself going through withdrawals, wanting to relapse. But I would not let myself. I knew from various psychology classes the symptoms of addiction and also how to end them. All studies resulted in cutting the addiction cold turkey.

Luckily, we did not go to the same college, so I was able to find a place I did not have to be surrounded by things that reminded me of him. I replaced my constant texting him with constantly texting my friends (thanks guys). I kept myself busy from the time I woke up until the time I went to sleep. I threw myself into my academics and extracurricular activities. I found other things that made me happy.

After a few months I could still feel the pain but only when I would actively think of memories we had together. The only difference now was that things made me genuinely smile. I found new love. Love for my friends, love for my school, and love for myself. This love could never replace the love that I had for him, but it made my heart feel warmer than it used to.

I was finally able to appreciate him for all the times he was there for me and for making me feel special when we were together, but I did not have to think that he was the only thing that could make me feel that way.

I promise you, the pain you are in is not permanent. People will always love you. Just learn to love yourself.