Some days when I wake up, I don't want to start the day. I lay there and wish I could sleep. Just sleep to my heart's content, which it never is. I tend to watch the time slip away, checking my phone every now and again. I slip in and out of slumber until I can't lay there anymore. I sit up, scratch my eyes for a little bit, swing my legs onto the ground and sit there. I look around at my room, the clothes on the floor, and think. Sometimes I lean back over and lay down for a few minutes, but eventually I drag my feet to the bathroom and begin my day.
Getting out in the world everyday can be a monumental task. My brain rallies against the very idea of doing anything productive with all its cunning. At times I have to trick it into doing the right thing. Become more cunning than the biological computer nestled in my skull. Put your body in motion and the brain will follow. Something like that.
I wonder how I start my day and get through them every now and again, but I know exactly how I do it. Even if it's not apparent at the time. I think about my friends and family. I think about my future and how if I chose to be apathetic now, I will not have a future. I can always be grumpy and lazy when I am old and it's acceptable. Maybe when I am older I will have a few more pieces to this puzzle of life.
If I don't get up and start my day, I won't see my friends. I won't be able to talk to the people I love. I won't have the chance to give my animals love and look at funny pictures on the Internet. If I chose to sleep until I wasted away, I wouldn't have a life. It can be hard to see this when depression is coming down with all its dark contempt or when your days have become a hardship. You have to be careful to not get swamped in the past or lost in the possibilities of the future. I can't change one, but I am fairly certain to make the other better by simply rolling my legs over the edge of the bed.
My everyday actions are always fueled by these thoughts, although it's most likely done subconsciously. I chose to do my work because it will make me money, and in turn I can use that to have a place to live and call home. Following this, the people I care about can come to this home and we can make memories together. Looking back at memories can be lonely if you are the only one in them. These thoughts are usually not on my waking mind, but their influence is there regardless.
I wake up so I can invest in relationships because I like a human connection, and above all, who wants to be alone in life? Few people want to be alone on a deathbed with only the silence to share their final moments in. A person can't begin to count the amount of reasons we have to start, and get through, our days.
Ultimately, in the end, I get out of bed and start my day because that's what life demands of us. It isn't a selfish demand or one that seeks to crush us down, though it can seem like that's exactly what it is. If I don't start my day, I won't be able to take part in the wealth of experience even a simple, quiet day can provide.
Life without experience is, well, not a life at all.
