Relationships aren't supposed to be hard, but in college they are. Are we dating? Are we not? As if relationships didn't already suck enough, we live in a world where "determining the relationship" is almost unheard of. There's almost nothing worse than having to explain to your friends who the guy you've been hanging out with is, especially when you don't even know yourself. Except when they drop you out of nowhere and leave you wondering if what you guys had been real, or if it was all in your head. And when it ends, you find yourself justifying why you're sad and wondering if you even have a right to be sad. They were never yours, so do they even owe you an explanation? It's confusing, it's difficult to explain to others, but we've all gone through it and believe it or not, it does get better.
Here's how:
Face the facts.
Realizing that whatever you’re feeling clearly isn’t mutual is crucial here. The constant texting and late night conversations have slowed to one-word answers and complete disinterest. You’re going to question every move you made, and every word you said. Did I do something wrong? If I did this instead of this, would he still be here? Their name is no longer popping up on your phone every second of the day, and it’s almost like they never existed. It’s time to realize that it was nothing you did, you weren’t too much of this or not enough of that. You deserve so much more than someone who will drop you out of nowhere like he did. It may take you a while, but remember that he’s the one missing out. It may take him a while too, but one day something will remind him of you, and he’ll wish he had stayed.
Get him off your mind.
Get rid of anything and everything that reminds you of him, especially all ways to contact him. Delete everything. EVERYTHING. Block his number if you have to. Unfollow him on Instagram and twitter. Delete him from snap chat. It sounds extreme, but not being able to see what he’s doing will help you to detach from him. You won’t know what he’s doing or who he’s with, and eventually, you won't even care. Seeing his snap chat story of him at the bar with a bunch of girls will only make you hurt more. And the last thing you want is to wake up on Saturday morning to realize the twelve texts you sent last night went unanswered. Thank you tequila for that bright idea.
Make sure to talk about your feelings, because facing the bottle for all of your problems is not a good idea. Remember, this is not a fairy tale. There will be no screaming and fighting or kissing in the rain. He will not be throwing rocks at your window any time soon. If anything, you’ll see him out and make exchange awkward glances. Eye contact will at times, be too much to handle. Remember not to pick a fight with him when someone tells you all about the girl hanging over him at the bar, or who he hooked up with this weekend. He’s not yours to get mad over. Let him do his thing and you do yours. Try to do things that keep your mind off him, because letting him consume your mind won’t do you any good.
Move on.
FINALLY. you realized how much of a jerk he actually is. It doesn’t matter how long it took to do it, you did it. You realized you’re better than that, and worth so much more than someone who treats you that way. Moving on, doesn’t necessarily mean meeting someone new, but finally being okay is an important step in doing so. Days will pass, weeks will pass and you'll realize that when they are not longer in front of you every day - in your classes, on social media, in your head - that it's easier than you ever thought it would be. Now when you see him, you can hold your head high and smile because you know your own worth.
Break ups, in general, are like, pretty crappy, and there's no doubt that regardless of the situation it's going to hurt like hell. Getting over a guy is something we as girls, tend to dwell on. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. As time moves on, you'll look back and realize how silly it was to be so caught up with someone who couldn't care less about you.
Some day, some day soon, you'll find the right person. The person who will make you forget all the bad, and brings you to life when they kiss you, the person who will make you the best version of yourself. When that time comes, you'll look back and be happy it didn't work out with anyone else.
