No matter how much you loved the person, or how much you thought it would work, sometimes it just doesn't. And that's okay! You're going to be okay without them, and before you know it you'll have moved on. Here are seven tools to help you get over that person who broke your heart.
1. Distract Yourself
One of the best ways to get over someone is to just focus your time and energy on something else. Go out with friends! Go outside and admire nature. Staying in bed feeling sorry for yourself for more than a day (we all need just a day) isn't going to help. If you're sporty, go work out! If you're more of the creative, musical type- go out and play an instrument or write a song. After my recent break up, I wrote a song, and I found it quite stress relieving. Find something you enjoy and distract yourself so you don't sit there missing them.
2. Get Back Out There
Depending on the time it has been since the break up, consider starting to look at other people! You do not have to start a serious relationship with another person to have this help you move on. Simply having another person (especially if they're cute) flirt with you and give you their attention can make you forget all about the person who broke your heart. Go out and meet people! You may not be ready to date again, but you can at least have a little fun and make some friends along the way.
3. Talk It Out
When I broke up with my last boyfriend, the first thing I wanted to do was call my mom. I hadn't kept her updated on how things were going with him, so it was a complete surprise to her: "I thought you guys were doing so well?" We were, mom, we were. She really liked him, and I feel like she was almost as upset as I was. However, she told me it was okay because going off to college makes keeping a relationship difficult. And who knows, maybe we'd be together again one day. If not, I would still be okay, and she'd be here for me no matter what. Having someone tell you that really helps you realize you're going to be okay without your ex, no matter how much you still love them.
4. DANCE PARTY
Have a dance party in your room by yourself to your favorite song. I'm not kidding. After my ex and I split about a week or two ago, I turned on my favorite playlist on Spotify and just danced around. It lifted my mood by 100% and I bet it'll do the same to yours! If you find yourself feeling too down about it, turn on some music and dance. Have fun!
5. Cry
This one is fairly obvious. t's okay to break down at 3am because you miss them. You loved them, and now they're gone. It hurts and crying is a natural part of heartbreak. However, do not let yourself be sad for too long. Yes, you loved them. Yes, they were a big part of your life. The memories you have together were great and it's okay to think about them and be sad for a day, even two. But staying sad will only make it take longer for you to get over them. Don't let yourself throw a pity party for too long.
6. Let Go of the Memories
This one can be quite difficult. Let yourself reminisce about all the good times, and then let go. Let go of the car rides, when they'd hold your hand and sing along to their favorite songs. Let go of the nights you'd spend together, watching Netflix and snuggling, where you felt so warm and happy. Let go of that moment when you cried simply staring at them because you were overwhelmed by your love for them. Let go of the big moments you experienced together, like anniversaries or proms. Let go of those things, because they're going to happen again with someone else one day. I promise. You'll be that happy again, with or without a significant other.
7. Love Yourself
One of the things that's really helped me through this breakup is to just get up, put on makeup and some cute clothes, and feel good about myself. Looking in the mirror and feeling good about yourself can be such a big help, especially if you are under the misguided impression that they left because you weren't good enough. That's not true. You are plenty good enough, and if they didn't see that, it's their fault. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you're beautiful because you are.
You are amazing and wonderful and beautiful and someone is going to come along one day that will appreciate it more than they ever did. You got this.
