I was 12 when I was sexually assaulted by my cousin at a family gathering for the holidays. I first told my parents when I was 16 years old, and my dad's gut choice was to call the family member and yell, but his second call was to the police.

I had told my mom, in the kitchen, and I watched as she gripped the counter to hold herself up. I told her I’d give her space. I went to a friend's house.

It took two years to go to trial. My family member's defense has tried to get my brother to testify against me in trial. My brother told the lawyer that he would plea the 5th for every question asked, and they eventually dropped him as a witness.

My grandmother testified against me and looked me in the eyes in the hallway waiting to go to trial, “You shouldn’t have told anyone. We should’ve kept this in the family. We wouldn't be in this mess.”

She tried to hold my hand from puking so much from crying, my brother told her to get away from me.

My dad cried at trial. In my 20 years on this earth, I can count on one hand how many times I had seen my dad cry.

I watched my mom's relationship with her own mother crumble before me in a courthouse, as she looked her mother in the eyes and said, “You’ve done enough” after she tried to hug me.

I watched my aunt's mother laugh at me from the seating area in the courtroom.

I watched my cousin sit behind the defense table and not once look me in the eyes as I sat on the witness stand. I watched him sit with a straight face as they played the audio clip of his confession.

I watched my brother, who is normally passive and soft spoken, yell at my grandmother to get the hell away from me with clenched fists.

After the trial was over, My sister's reaction and her daughter's reaction was what hurt the most. She chose to believe that he didn’t do it, over what I said, though she lived 3,000 miles away and was never in the courtroom.

My brother and I cut off our relationship with our grandmother a short three months after trial and haven't seen or heard from her since. This was someone who we saw often, every birthday dinner, every holiday, every concert or game, she was there.