Hand turkeys, cornucopias, fur vests, sweet potato casserole and awkward questions from rarely seen relatives all signify one thing: Thanksgiving! We all know it's coming, and we all know what it brings: a chorus of "How's school?" and other questions we prefer not to answer (especially as finals week is fast approaching) being hurled at us from relatives we barely see and whose names we may not even remember. This topic has been an ongoing joke among college students for several years, but answers are coming. I am about to decipher the ever-present and sometimes confusing meanings to these questions that are heard around the country at every Turkey dinner.
"How's school going?" -- Great Aunt Fran, last seen when you were only X feet tall
What you think she means: "I noticed your grandparents haven't bragged to me this year about how great you were doing in school, have you dropped out?"
What she actually means: "I am genuinely interested in your life, but I don't know what else to start a conversation about with you."
"Are you dating anyone?" - Great Grandma Ethel, last seen the previous week when she asked the same question
What you think she means: "I see you have gotten a new haircut and I can't decide if it is the new style or if I should question your sexuality."
What she actually means: "I hope that you are creating meaningful relationships and are happy in the place that is beginning to seem like home for you."
"When do you graduate?" -- Uncle Ed, who you aren't even sure is actually related to you
What you think he means: "I noticed your dad posted a Facebook status about the high tuition rates at your school, and wondered if you had gotten your act together and finally stopped changing your major."
What he actually means: "I noticed your dad posted a Facebook status about the high tuition rates, and I would like to rub in his face how much longer he will be paying them."
"Do you have a job?" -- Aunt Brenda, twice removed
What you think she means: "I sure hope you are helping your poor parents foot the bill for that expensive education."
What she actually means: "I hope you have a little spending money to have fun with your friends!"
"What's your favorite class?" -- Your sister's mother-in-law
What you think she means: "I wonder if you have been going to class."
What she actually means: "I hope that you are able to have time to take a class that you enjoy every now and then."
These questions are just a few we will all be answering over and over at family events this year, but when we get tired of the perceived judgement and repetitive conversation, we should remember how lucky we are to have people that care enough to ask in the first place.
