My parents divorced when I was three years old and my father had custody of me my siblings. As a single father my dad did his best to provide for me and my siblings but sometimes he struggled. And with the struggles came moving around a lot as he tried to get a stable job or find an affordable place for us to live. Constantly moving can change any person especially a kid and it certainly changed me.
As a kid I did not realize how much it changed me, but I knew I hated moving. I did not like having to say goodbye to my friends or changing schools almost every 2 years. But my dad had to do what he had to do and so did I. I adapted to make it and some of the adaptations were good and some were bad.
One of the bad adaptation was how I began to build a wall around me so the constant moving, saying goodbye to friends, dealing with bullies, and a not so stable home would not affect me as much. This wall also came with a mask because why would I let anyone in or see the real me when I would be leaving soon. That is not to say I did not make friends, but I never really tried as hard and I began to feel more comfortable having grownups as friends than kids my own age. Grownups do not expect much from you when you are a kid so it is easier to talk to them. Most kids my age just did not deal with the same thing so connections were hard. But I learned how to get over things I could not control and what to prioritize.
When you are moving from place to place you are going to lose stuff or have to sell stuff along the way. And I lost count of how many times this happened to me, but like always I adapted and learned quick on how to prioritize some items over another. So I focused less on all of my stuffed animals and more on all the books I had (which worked since I like them way more) and I definitely made sure they were one of the first things packed. I also had to learn how to downsize because unfortunately not everything could go with us when we moved. So I had to learn to give up on clothes I wanted to keep and keep asking myself will I wear this in a few days or have I ever worn this? If the answer was no, then I reluctantly had to let it go. I know it does not sound like a big deal but hey as a kid letting go of my Tinkerbelle shirt was the hardest thing. But in all seriousness it made me realize that you cannot keep everything with you and you will have to let go eventually.
I also learned that crying about things will not change anything. It will only give you a headache and make you feel miserable at the end. So just let it go and move on. Of course only later on did I realize that holding back your emotions is not such a good idea.
Moving constantly also made me feel like I never really belonged anywhere. I always felt like an outsider just wandering around with no place to go. I almost felt dissociated from everyone and I was honestly afraid of actually interacting with people. Because how do I know that this friendship or relationship will last? How do I know that when I leave we will still be friends? I can tell you after the third time I just gave up on remaining friends with them. Now it is a bad habit to where if you are not with me all the time I will not talk to you. Which is awful and it is something I have been continuously working on.
Plus with the constant moving it meant different schools and different schools mean different ways of learning things. Which can be super frustrating especially when a certain school has you learn one thing and another does not give two hoots about whatever that school taught you (cough cough cursive cough cough). Every teacher and every school way of teaching is different and so are their traditions and it is hard to keep up or be even enthusiastic about school spirit when it is the fifth school you have been to and it will not be your last.
But the moving did help me grow up a lot and mature quickly. Schools were always awkward but eventually I learned which people to look out for and which teachers or administrators to be friends with (by the way the answer is always the librarian). I learned how to read people and how to adapt to any situation that was thrown at me. The moving had its ups and down, but I honestly would not change anything. I got to see so many different places, meet new people, and learn new things. I moved constantly but I was better off in the end.
