I was thinking about the other day what life would be like if I was a superhero, and how different everything would all be. Popular media has covered similar topics to this. For example, how Peter Parker is in high school and college through the comic books, some of the Teen Titans have been to public school, the “Kick-Ass” films and comic books, and the film “Sky High”, which was one of my favorite films as a middle schooler. So, I’ve thought about some different topics that haven’t yet been answered in films or comic books -- as far as I know.

Do you get government scholarships for being a superhero?

Peter Parker never got a scholarship for being a Spider-Man (although, he did get one for being really great at science, so maybe he wouldn’t have needed it), but still! If you’re out saving the world every day, or every other day, shouldn’t you get compensation?

Why am I the only one asking these questions?

Also, what if you’re a vigilante that the government wants to capture? You gotta avoid them like the plague, and I guess that includes applying for scholarships. Man, being a college-age superhero is hard.

How many times can "I was saving the world" be a valid excuse to not do homework?

Okay, let’s just assume in this scenario you were public, but you totally did it in an awesome way -- like Robert Downey Jr. in the first “Iron Man” film -- all cool and definitely not by accident; or, when you tried talking with the cute girl who sits next to you in your 9:30 a.m. science class, which is way too early for coherent thinking.

Yeah. Totally did it the cool smooth way.

Anyway, would your professors be cool with you never turning anything in on time because you were saving the city from aliens or zombies or, I dunno, a gigantic Mr. Clean that can project bleach from his mouth and burn anything that it touches?

Like, normal superhero stuff.

You’d probably have to give an autograph for their kids at some point in time.

Gosh, that would start to get annoying.

What if there were no villains?

Obviously there is always crime -- Batman fights robbers, Iron Man goes after terrorists, Spiderman chases down thieves and such sometimes; everyone chisels down the iceberg of organized crime that always remains largely unseen to the rest of the world.

What if you didn’t have an archenemy? No Joker to your Batman? No Lex Luthor to your Superman? No Mandarin to your Iron Man? No China Shop to your Hulk?

Someone would eventually rise up and challenge you -- they always do. Superheroes inspire others to do incredible and sometimes terrible things.

But, you’re a college student who needs to study for your finals, so for now, those are your archenemies.

With the Internet, would you feel Superhero Guilt even more?

The concept of superhero guilt is not a new concept, but with the Internet, you could check Facebook in between classes (because you would never check it during the class) and see a disaster halfway around the world, and think: what could I have done to help or stop this?

Wow, that’s actually kind of sad.

Films like “The Dark Knight” and “Man of Steel” have captured that sorrowful guilt that superheroes can experience pretty well (and darkly, I might add) so it’s not hard to imagine a wide-eyed college student that is beginning to realize how messed up a lot of the world is. Not to mention seeing all this destruction worldwide and having the ability to affect that personally, but not being able to do because, well, you can’t save everyone.

Uh -- let’s talk about something goofy again.

Puberty must’ve been weird.

Weird hair all over? Acne? Awkward Growth spurts?

Imagine waking up one day and having spider web shoot out of your wrists? Or being on fire? Or what if your power was to transform into different things and you started randomly transforming whenever your emotions shifted because being fourteen is oddly emotional.

Now, Spider-Man and the aforementioned underrated film “Sky High” cover this topic, but imagine watching or even living this change on a day-to-day basis?

What if you slipped up at Starbucks?

What if you gave away your identity at Starbucks, accidentally, because you were really tired and you hadn’t had your grande mocha frappuccino with two (three on Tuesdays and Thursdays) espresso shots.

You don’t realize what you said at first due to exhaustion between fighting robbers at 2 a.m. and then finishing Prof. Harris’ history article readings before her 10 a.m. course across campus from your dorm.

The barista just stares, mouth agape, as you rub your eye, still not aware that you just said your superhero name and not your actual name. Suddenly the realization hits you, and you stop, sharing the wide-eyed, mouth-agape look that the barista is still giving you, and then you decide the best course of action is to quickly put on sunglasses and run out of the Starbucks.

Now you can never go back. That would be awkward.

What would living a dorm be like?

Your roommates would have to be super cool, being that they would definitely suspect the fact that you are almost never in your shared room. And your strange sleeping habits of getting any wink you can in between your classes.

Actually, that’s probably not that strange.

Laundry would be fun, though, since it’s practically required for superheroes to have a colorful onesie with a detachable mask, and they are always impossible colors to try and match with other clothing to wash with.

Just never wash it with your whites. You’ll have pink socks forever. Unless you want that -- then totally go for it.

Hollywood, call me.

I think I’ve laid out some pretty intriguing points and through the process, I've decided there needs to be a college superhero.

The Human Procrastination!

Hmm… no.

Cram Man!

Ugh -- that’s even worse.

Fight Dude!

I’m just gonna leave the naming to the aforementioned Hollywood people who are totally going to call me so I can sell this article as a screenplay for a film.

Yup, that’s the life goal. All my chips on the table.

Overall, I’m glad I’m not a superhero.

It just sounds like a lot of responsibility and pressure, and I have enough of that from myself and about a handful of classes every semester; so I can’t even imagine supplementing that with added superhero stress (and guilt, but we won’t go back there).

Just being a regular college student is enough responsibility for me, currently. Some people claim that being an adult (and maybe eventually, a parent) is sometimes like being a superhero, so I guess we’ll have to wait and see how true that is.

“Das Jus Me Doe!” the1janitor.

What do you all think? Do you wanna be a superhero? Would you want to save the world every day? What is your personal superhero name? Would you go back to the Starbucks? Let me know in the comments down below.