In your school system, there's an eight-year-old girl who loses a parent and can't talk about it with her family. There's a nine-year-old girl who eats her feelings and gets called an "ugly fat ass" on the playground. There's a ten-year-old girl who gets kicked, thrown and hit by her father who won't give her a reason or explain what she'd done wrong. There's an eleven-year-old girl who spends her days and nights home alone, unsure why no one wants to be with her. There's a twelve-year-old girl who gets punished for getting bad grades by the same person who has never asked if she needed any help. There's a thirteen-year-old girl that gets called "a loser" and "good for nothing" by the people who should've told her she was loved and beautiful. There's a girl who battles depression and suicide without the help from a single soul.
We don't like to think that there are kids out there who fight alone. We assume that we've taught children to tell someone when they think about harming themselves. We assume that parents and teachers are keeping a close enough eye on their kids to know if they need help. However, not every child belongs to a loving home with parents who are willing to put away the booze and tend to their child's feelings. Not every child is willing to tell on their bullies because they're been taught by their parents that they deserve to be mistreated. Not every child wears a frown to school every day, but instead they force a smile because they're afraid people will find out the truth: they need someone.
Yes, parents and teachers, it takes a little work on your part. Most children will not come out and say that they're depressed or suicidal. I went ten years without anyone knowing what actually went on once I left the school grounds. Adults need to start realizing that depression is a quiet disease on the outside, but loud on the inside. You can't hear the voices inside a child's head, encouraging them that today will be the day- today they will finally end their life, but you will notice that they didn't do their homework. You can't hear the voices of chanting bullies replaying in their head, but you will notice that they didn't do their classwork. You won't see them get pushed in a snow bank on their way home from school. You won't see them run home so they can finally slap themselves across the face, feeling stupid for not ending their life the night before. You won't see them destroy all the good in their life because they have been taught to see themselves as unworthy.
However, you will see them taking their anger out on other kids at recess. So, you call home and they get hit harder that night.
You will see them act out in class because they're thirsty for the attention they don't get at home. So, you call home and they get hit harder that night.
You will see them fail to do any of their work, but you have no idea that's it's because they spent the previous night planning their death and crying themselves to sleep. So, you call home and they get hit harder that night.
They won't tell you they want to die. They will write it in a journal. They will say, "Ugh, I wanna kill myself!" as a joke and secretly hope that someone will take it seriously. They will scream it at the top of their lungs when they're home alone. They will tell their dog because he can keep a secret.
You cannot simply make assumptions that a child is okay. The most suicidal child could be the one that makes everyone laugh. The most depressed child could be one that you just assume is more on the quiet side. You may just see the outbursts as a behavioral issue. You probably notice a little boy covered in bruises, shake your head and say, "boys will be boys." I'm not saying that teachers should take action and assume a child is going to end their life because they are a little quiet. What I am saying, though, is to notice patterns and realize that it can be more than what it seems.
I know something can't be done about every sad child out there. However, I hope this is at least motivation to dig a little deeper. If even one teacher had noticed that something was really wrong with me and did something about it, I could've gotten the help I needed. Don't get me wrong- my teachers played a huge part in keeping me from ending my life. My teachers really were all I had sometimes, and every day, part of me secretly wished that they'd finally ask me to talk, to tell them about what went on in my life. Teachers, you can really be a hero to a child that needs you, even if you just lend an ear.
No child should fight alone.
