In seventh grade I started to feel different. I felt invisible and thought something was wrong with me. It was not until the end of 10th grade, when I attended the Hugh O’Brian Youth Leadership (HOBY) seminar that I finally was able to come terms with myself. Before attending the seminar, I knew I wanted to change the world, but I didn’t think that it was possible to do that if I was gay. This belief lead me to ignore that piece of me.

Thankfully, I was heavily impacted by HOBY. I was in a room with 250 other sophomore leaders and everyone was so accepting of each other. It was quite remarkable and beautiful. There were students from all across central Pennsylvania, coming from different backgrounds, yet in three and a half days we left as a family.

At HOBY, my associate facilitator sat and talked to me one on one and told me that I had so much potential to change the world some day. She didn’t know I was gay, but it was amazing to have someone who was a complete stranger on day one tell me on day two that she believed in me as a person and knew with my determination and love for people that I was going to have a successful life.

Leaving HOBY, I was devastated because I knew I had to go back to school the next day and South Williamsport was not going to be as accepting and loving as HOBY. Though this was true, I knew I could keep the HOBY spirit alive, so I did just that. I was so open to everyone when I returned, and even teachers saw the change in me.

Now you’re probably saying, “Okay! You returned from HOBY, did you come out?” and the answer to that is no. I spent the next two years of my high school career being involved in everything possible in hopes of making a difference in people’s lives. I am sure I impacted someone’s life, but it wasn’t until college that I realized I couldn’t do that if I was living in a lie. There was no way that I could expect someone else to accept me 100%, if I still hadn’t accepted myself 100%.

My freshman year of college I attended Misericordia University and it was both the worst and best year of my life. It was the worst year because my parents separated and I became really depressed and stressed with everything, but the best year because it was during the low times that I found myself. I discovered so much about myself and started believing in myself.

I started attending a gay-straight alliance club and gained more knowledge about the LGBT community. It was a safe place for me and I learned more and more. I heard people’s stories and started seeing that it was possible to live a gay life and still be happy and successful. I still hadn’t accepted myself 100%, but the pretending and faking was enough. I decided that I would rather be true to myself and people hate me for that, then be living a lie and having people admire me for someone I wasn’t.

With a lot of hesitation, on June 7th 2014, I made the biggest decision of my life, after years of suffering. I made the decision to face the world being my most authentic self, after years of portraying an identity that I wasn’t. I came out to my family and friends.

It was difficult and I had a lot of fear, but I thought that maybe by being out I could help someone who was younger than me, or someone who hadn’t gained the courage to be themselves yet.

It took me by surprise, when students at my former high school started messaging me and saying they were questioning their sexuality and that they just wanted someone to talk to. It was in those moments that I realized that all my suffering and lack of accepting myself for years was worth it.

I am here to say that you can change the world and be successful no matter what you identify as. There are doctors, teachers, lawyers, etc. who are a part of the LGBT community and they didn’t let their identity stop them, so neither should you.

My sexual identity will not prevent me from living a life of acceptance, admiration, and even respect from my family and community.

I am passionate. I am intelligent. I am ambitious. I am dependable, I am persistent. And I am determined to change the world.