Ah, Black Friday—a day when Americans line up like cattle, eager to find the best deals in town. A day that it is acceptable to scream and run around a store, chasing other customers around for taking the last Barbie doll. A day when no one is judged for camping out for hours before the opening of the store with bloodshot eyes, knotty hair, and flannel pajama pants and well into their third cup of coffee. Some people who are against this great day may use words such as, "psychotic," "insane," or "ludicrous," but those who make the most out of their Friday may say it is "spectacular," "magical," or "inspiring." Whatever side of the spectrum you classify yourself to be in, we can all agree that Black Friday has taken a turn for the worst.

Remember the days that the earliest that stores would open were 5 a.m. on Friday? Back then, we thought that was so ridiculously early! But then a few years passed and stores tried to top each other and soon, bigger stores decided to open at midnight. Now, this wasn't too bad since it didn't require waking up so early or going to sleep until well after your shopping spree ended. But that leads us to the present day. This year, some stores opened at 3 p.m. on Thursday. I repeat, Thursday. Everything was still advertised as Black Friday deals and such, but stores somehow managed to take away our precious time to stuff our faces with as much turkey and potatoes as we can fit and instead, wait in line to get a cheaper flat screen television.

As a (prior) professional Black Friday shopper, there are a few things I have to say to you stores that had the audacity to attempt to ruin such a wonderful holiday for our country:

What is wrong with you?

Do you hate us?

Which is better: a cheaper laptop or THIS?

How are you going to top this?

I don't even want to know what next year's festivities will bring.

We have all year to prepare...