As children all we want to do is make our parents proud, be everything they want us to be. I used to think this all the time, until I noticed that I was different from what they wanted. I liked different things and wanted different things for myself and my future. One example being that they thought I would become an engineer and said that I have the right mind to be one, because I'm a very technical person and I'm good at seeing patterns. For the longest time I agreed and just shook my head. Then one day when I was in high school I finally said that I didn't want to be an engineer. I was taking an engineering class in school, and while I like the hands on part I didn't like all of the so called paper work that went with different things. I also saw how much stress was on my uncle for his job and how much he has to work, and I didn't want that. I want to help people emotionally, physically, or mentally or all three it really doesn't matter. I just want to help people.
The next thing being that I didn't want to go to a big university. I'm from a small town. My graduating class was only about 140 people. My parents told me about how in college I'd be in big lecture classes with close to ninety people. At the time my biggest class was twenty five. I went on tours of big universities like The University of Georgia, Auburn, Alabama and all the tour guides said the same thing: the classes were huge, and the teacher to student ratio was crazy in my mind. Eventually my mind shifted to where I am now - Jacksonville state University. All through high school I was in band and went to a couple of events for band at Jacksonville. From what I had seen it was a beautiful campus. My senior year I had a tour set up, and I was beyond excited not even the rain that day could ruin my mood. My parents weren't as sure as I was but mostly because they didn't know anything about this college. I think they hoped that my mind would change back to a bigger university after the tour, but that didn't happen. Coming on the tour only confirmed in my head that this was where I wanted to go, and at the end of the tour they agreed with me. So in the fall after I graduated I packed up my things, drove an hour and a half leaving my hometown in my review, and moved into a dorm.
Once I got down here back in February I had met someone who was also coming to Jacksonville, and over the summer we became pretty close. By the time I moved we had been dating for about a month, and I was so happy I felt like I was exactly where I was suppose to be. The only problem was my parents wouldn't approve. When I was in middle school I came out as bisexual, and I still identify as bisexual today. My parents told me that there was no such thing as bisexuality. So after that I hid who I was because I knew they didn't approve. I knew who I was and I never questioned that and when I was with friends I didn't have to hide who I was. The person that I met was female, or so I thought. While we were talking he eventually told me that he was transgender. I didn't have any problem with this at all. In fact after he told me I went and researched everything I could to educate myself about what being transgender meant. He was open about who he was. Before coming out as transgender, he had come out as gay. So being with him forced me to open up about who I am, because I didn't want to lose him just because I was in the closet so to speak.
I knew I had to tell my parents about it because they had also met him before he came out as transgender. So they only saw him as female, and this caused him so much dysphoria whenever the wrong pronouns were used or when his dead name (name given at birth) was used. To say the least I couldn't actually face them, and I ended up telling them in a text message. Now I wish I hadn't, but I was too scared to face them because I didn't know how they would react. Last time I was on the topic of LGBT it didn't go to well.
They ended up being okay with it in a way. They noticed that I was much happier, more confident, more outgoing, and just better all around. I still think that they wish I wasn't with him, but I am happy and they are willing to look past what they want for me and just be happy that I am happy.
Its hard going against what your parents want for you. I've done it with many different things. I'm bisexual, I went to a smaller college, I have a different degree than they wanted for me, I have tattoos and piercings which they hate, and I cut my hair shorter than they approved of. But through this whole process they have accepted me and they never stopped loving me and I have been able to become who I want to be. I've been able to express myself. So even though going against your parents is hard, being who you want to be is the most liberating thing and well worth a difficult conversation. It also gets easier every time you tell them something about yourself that you know they won't like or don't approve of. Being yourself only gets easier. I can promise you that standing up for what you want and being who you are will make you so much happier than being something you're not. Just be yourself and the right people will love you for who you are inside.
