Most people have many preconceived notions that the hospital is a bad and scary place. I spend about a third of my life in the hospital, so I can tell you that it indeed can be an extremely frustrating place, but that it is not always a place for negative emotions. In honour of my recent trip to the children's hospital, here is a brief letter written about some of the thoughts on what it is like in the hospital.

Most people set foot in a hospital less than 4 or 5 times in their life. The two big ones are to give birth (not including being born), and when they are dying. The times in between generally involve a broken arm, persistent case of the flu or a minor mystery disease that turns out to be strep throat. But other than that, most people don't even know what the inside of their local hospital looks like. Well what if I told you that not only do I know the map of the hospital in my sleep, I also have placed foot in a hospital so many times, I've lost count? It is truly unfortunate that most news Cystic Fibrosis ever gets, is when someone gets youtube famous for "normalizing death" as they are dying and documenting it as an adventure story for all of social media to chew and swallow. Another less frequent public story is when a person with CF gets famous for doing a decathlon and is put in the local paper as "extraordinary". Mostly, cystic fibrosis just isn't a disease that people know about and I'm one day going to try and change that. But for now, i'd like to share some funny and ironic truths about what a typical hospital stay entails. First, the hospital floors are microcosms, and deserve to be treated as such. Each floor or area of the hospital is in turn, each a different part of your extended family. The nurses become close friends and know basically you as a person, they are truly amazing and talented caregivers, but not only that, they understand how to care for patients in all ways. A compliment here and there can make a bad day bearable. Second, there are all kinds of people on the floor, just like in the actual outside world. On my daily stroll around the hall, I see all kinds of kids and families and while most will make you thankful for your situation, many are hopeful. The surgery floor is probably the most interesting floor to be on because you have all kinds of cases and my nosy self can't help but look into rooms to figure out what's going on. The people can be questionable, relatable and all kinds of crazy but there is no way to see the world faster than to meet hospital neighbors. A lot of the time I am the only CFer on the floor which is ironically relevant when talking about the disease. It is not a social disease. Cancer and diabetes are social diseases; CF is not. We can pass germs to each other which makes walking the hall difficult if another one happens to be a neighbor, but mostly i'm the only one. It's a running joke at this point that I have my daily sprint around the floor, mostly, the nurses can't have cohesive conversations with their patients so I try to be a nice change. People come and go during my 2 week stay and it's always interesting to see who comes in. But mostly it's just quiet and me being left to my own devices. It is amazing what IV antibiotics will do for your infection-ridden body. I can feel the difference day by day and most people don't know what that's like; to physically feel your sickness and know to what level of miserable you are takes a special talent and years of practice. But then when the meds do kick in, the relief is the best feeling in the world, even though it takes about 2 weeks to do. Having visitors is so exciting. You actually shower and try to look presentable so that you don't smell like stale sweat and alcohol, and you try to maybe even put new clothes on. It's a whole ordeal and it always makes you feel better. People don't understand how much taking a shower can make you feel like a normal person. As a parting note, i'd just like to mention the hundred million people that come in and out of your room constantly. You think you had no privacy at home with your parents? Stay one day in the hospital and you will have to beg your parents to bug you. That and sleep. Sleep is a fantastical idea that floats around your head teasing you and then dissipates into thin air.The hospital is not a scary place. It can be a place of sadness where you are stagnant while the rest of the world moves around you and keeps going. That is the hardest part for me. But remembering that it's only a small piece of time to keep being able to make memories is important. It's a chance for you to rediscover your inner kid and to be able to play with play-doh without being judged, but most of all, it is a place to heal and be fixed.I think many times this gets overshadowed because of all of the bad things that can happen here, but ultimately, its a place where I help my body heal even when it doesn't know it needs help. Regardless, I spend about a third of my life in the hospital and I am all the better for it. I have matured and been humbled in ways that most normal people can't imagine. And while you think your situation could be bad, it most certainly could always be worse, so thank your lucky stars.
Love,
Ashley

So yes these are all thoughts I have had and I hope that at least a little of those bad feelings have been hushed. But if there is one thing that you take away, it's that you walk away more grateful for your existence than anyone else, once you've spent enough time in the hospital.