“Who stole our doorknob?”

It was a Sunday morning, and there was a gaping hole in our front door. Not only had our doorknob broken off several times during the commotion the night before, but someone had successfully gotten away with the prized souvenir.

This isn’t the only casualty from parties we have thrown in our house. Our walls now have permanent blue jean stains, a constant reminder of the dancing butts that have rubbed against them. The inflatable air mattress we keep for guests to crash on has grown mold from all the drinks that have been spilled on it. Of the 6 wine glasses we started the year with, only 1 has not shattered.

This is why we can’t have nice things.

Having a party at your house with all your friends is fun and exciting, but let’s not forget the inevitable consequences that come with letting partying college students into your home. Here are some of the unexpected horrors of hosting:

1. Breaking the Bank

Hosting doesn’t just mean opening your doors and blasting the stereo; preparations need to be made, and that isn’t cheap. Maybe you want to make some bomb juice, or maybe you want to splurge and buy an entire keg. As a college student, supplying a party can really dig deep into your pockets. The expenses of providing alcohol and, if you’re having a themed party, decorations are almost enough to make you call the whole thing quits. Almost.

2. Theft and Valuables

As much as you want to believe that everyone is going to be respectful of your stuff and all your valuables will be exactly as you left them, let’s be real. At the end of the night your guests might walk out with a stomach full of beer and the flag you had hanging up on the wall.

Even the most unexpected items might disappear right from under your feet. One time my friend went grocery shopping, and then threw a party afterwards. Sometime during the night, a guest had opened one of the cupboards in his kitchen and left with the 4 boxes of Mac & Cheese that were sitting inside.

3. When You Just Want Everyone to Leave So You Can Go To Bed

It’s 3 a.m. and your bed is only a flight of stairs away. But the music is still blaring and your friends are still dancing to a song that’s played three times already. As much as you want to crawl into the warm cocoon of blankets awaiting upstairs, as the host of the party you can’t leave all your guests unattended.

4. The Paranoia of Security

There is a group of people standing outside for fresh air, and you hear someone whisper about the police. “Turn the music down!” you yell, but no one is listening. The party isn’t registered, and all you can think about is the possibility of cops knocking on the door. There is no greater buzzkill than the threat of security breaking up a party that is just at its peak.

5. Clean-Up the Morning After

Sunday is known for many things: lazy Sundays, the day of rest, and homework day. But when you host a party over the weekend it becomes one thing only, clean-up day. You can’t have a party without dedicating time to serious wiping and trash collecting the following day. But this isn’t always an easy task.

You’ve mopped the floor three times but it’s still sticky. The counters and tables are littered with beer cans. Paper towels are depleting at a dangerous rate. The trash bags are piling up and someone clogged the toilet. Sound familiar?

Hosting a house party is a fun way to get together with your friends and celebrate without leaving the comfort of your own home. Just don’t be too surprised the next morning if your funds are low and the buttons don't work on your new stereo.