"Love." It's funny how one little word can be the inspiration for so many major works of art and actions of individuals. But, it's not the word itself is it? It is the idea of "love." We are attracted to what the word represents. Well, what does love represent? Is there a single definition for it or many? Are we confusing love with brief bursts of passion or "hookups?"
While skimming through the YikYak feed for my college campus, I noticed that somebody had made the statement, "our generation has made love too casual." At first, I dismissed the idea as a whiney statement but then did some thinking; does our generation treat intimate relationships any differently from the generations before us? After doing some research it seems that we do, and for good reason.
Many of our generation's relationships (both romantic and nonromantic) are less intimate because of something called "increasing social complexity." It means that our social lives are drastically different from what our brains were "hardwired" for. According to the anthropologist Robin Dunbar, our brains were designed for maintaining personal relationships with only about 150 people. That's crazy when considering most people have a Facebook account with 400+ friends (you might not know all of them that well, but that's the point). It's not just social media, either; technological advancements in communication (smartphones, computers, etc.). have made it very easy to stay connected with more people. As technology has improved, it has become easier to communicate with way more people. While that sounds like a good thing, there's a problem.
The world is getting smaller and bigger at the same time. The larger the community, the less value is placed upon the individual person. As people, we want to valued, to be loved. You have trouble getting that kind of attention in bigger communities (cities/large social networks). That's why clinical depression rates are higher in cities than in urban areas; more people don't feel like they are valued and that they have no belonging. The more people we know, the more we feel alone. That's pretty messed up isn't it?
What's a way to not feel so lonely? A good ole' fashioned hookup! Though, it's not really so ole' fashioned is it? "Hookup" culture has become more relevant as time goes on, and it might be because an increasing number of people feel alone. I've seen plenty of failed relationships that had started as a result of a hookup. Hookups are not necessarily bad because they appeal to part of our nature as humans. Only until a few recent generations have they become so common. It looks like people are starting to confuse sudden passion with an intimate, real connection. The outstandingly large number of divorce rates in the West can serve as an example of failed relationships that could be merely desperate attempts at not being alone in a world that feels smaller, yet bigger than ever.
