Hookup Culture Has Destroyed Dating

Hookup Culture Has Destroyed Dating

In more casual romantic situations, such as friends-with-benefits or dating, a little clarification is always important to maintain healthy relations.

519
views

The other day, I was reading an article that talked about how millennials have created a culture of "un-dating," where instead of dating, people are "talking," and rather than being asked on dates, people are merely asked to "hang out." I couldn't agree more with this, especially being a college student, where we have the freedom of seeing whoever we like, almost whenever we like. I think that this culture of "un-dating" has stemmed from hookup culture: a culture where real emotions are forbidden or shamed upon, and 'commitment' has become a trigger word.

Because of the casualty of hooking up (and take that word for however you interpret it), it's often hard to tell what someone's true objectives are in new or more casual romantic relationships. When asked to "hang out" or what someone's "up to" the intentions are oftentimes very blurred. Do they just want a cuddle buddy? Do they want to just hook up? Do they genuinely have feelings towards said person? Do they just want to be friends? Or do they want a combination of the above, but don't really want to put a "label" on it?

Whatever the answer may be, the lines have become very vague between what defines dating versus hooking up. This probably stems from our own insecurities, doubts, and mixed feelings, as oftentimes we may not really know what we want out of a relationship at first. On the other hand, if we do know that we want something more out of the relationship, we're often too afraid to bring it up. We don't want to ask the daring question of "what are we?" fearing that the question would potentially end the relationship or cause it to never "be the same" after the fact. But ironically, we also don't want to share our feelings out of fear of being rejected. If the feelings are not reciprocated, suddenly that person has become too "clingy" or burdensome.

Hookup culture has created a culture where having feelings makes someone "weak" or "soft." I personally think it's absurd- in the end, we can't help how we feel, whether we like it or not. But in general, avoiding the unsaid can cause some extremely mixed signals, and often ends up creating more problems than those evaded in the first place. If we're trying to "preserve" the relationship, then why is the safest way to go about it hiding our emotions? Society has established a norm where maintaining a "no-strings-attached" relationship means the maintenance of secrets and denial of any human emotion.

To make matters worse, we oftentimes avoid confronting the issue all together through what we know as "ghosting." (For those who don't, 'ghosting' is when someone just stops communicating on all platforms with a person they were involved with.) But, in my opinion, ghosting is just mere cowardice. Ghosting is like abandoning ship right when the sea gets a bit too bumpy for our own comfort. What's unfortunate is that usually it's done by the person less emotionally invested in the relationship, leaving the more emotionally invested person alone with their own confused feelings and prolonged insecurities.

So, what's the takeaway? Well first off, we should all man (or woman!) up, and be more honest to our partners, and more importantly ourselves, about our feelings. A one-sided relationship will rarely end well, so it's better to be upfront sooner than later before more damage is done. I think establishing the "what are we?" earlier into budding relationships is always a good way to go, just so both people are on the same page. Seeing "where things go" and not really addressing the elephant in the room may work for some people, but I'd like to believe that it's the exception and not the rule. In the majority of cases (that I've seen and lived through), avoiding the conversation has only caused a pent up jumble of issues, mixed emotions, and confusion. So, the next time you're asked to "hang out" with a person of interest, make sure you figure out what you're getting into before it gets too messy.

Popular Right Now

6 Important Must Knows For Dating Sassy And Sarcastic Girls

Brace yourselves boys, she's a tough one.
13527
views

Dating a girl with a big personality can be tricky. They are some of the most amazing girls but to keep them, one needs to understand them. Here are six important things you must be aware of before you give your heart to a sassy and sarcastic girl.

1. Stubborn

She is going to be the most stubborn creature you will ever meet. I say "creature" because she might actually scare you with how much she refuses to back down until you have full proof she is wrong. And if you can’t prove her wrong, just suck up your pride and let her be right or she’ll never quit. But just remember that she’s simply passionate about whatever it is and you should be proud of her for that.

2. Bluntness

She is going to be blunt. So be prepared to hear the truth. She isn’t going to care how mad you get, if you’re being rude, she won’t be afraid to put you in your place. If your choice of clothing isn’t matching, she’ll tell you. Whatever it is, she isn’t going to keep the truth from you. Sometimes it’s subtle, sometimes she’s just a little too straightforward.

3. Sensitivity

Be careful sometimes with your choice of words. Though she is blunt, she is also sensitive. Her sarcastic personality is sometimes just a defense mechanism because she fears opening up. She worries a lot and continues to ponder the things you say. Remind her she is loved.

4. Friends

She is going to have a lot more guy friends than she will have girl friends. Why? Because guys tend to find more humor in her sarcasm and don’t take it so personal, whereas other girls take it as she’s being serious and just rude. However, don’t be jealous because trust me, you’re 100 percent hers and those guy friends are just that — friends.

5. Insults

She’s not going to flirt with you by giggling and blushing and calling you cute. She’s going to call you an idiot and smack you across the shoulder or back because to her, that’s easier than being all giddy and speechless over how much she likes you. And even when she’s calling you names, which really is in all fun and games, she doesn’t mean it seriously, she’s actually just saying “I love you” in her own special language.

6. Shorty

If she’s short in addition to being sassy and sarcastic, you’re in for a big treat with her. She is not only going to be full of fast wit, but she is going to have so much spunk in her you won’t know what to do. She will be so feisty that she won’t be afraid of anything or anyone and you yourself won’t even know how to handle her. That’s what makes her special.

It takes a certain type of person to be able to give their heart to someone who can so easily break it with their strong headed personality. But a sarcastic and sassy girl is going to be the one girl who is going to love you with all that she has. Treat her right, and she’ll treat you right.

Cover Image Credit: Larisa Birta

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Poetry On Odyssey: Summer

However I choose to spend my time, I will know that I made this summer season mine.

333
views

Summer

Oh how I have missed this time of year.

My favorite season, it is finally here!


The time for laying on the beach with my toes in the sand.

Or going in a boat away from land.


Feel the sun shine down on me,

Or sitting in the shade under neighbor's tree.


Going with my mom and taking a hike,

Or going for a ride on my bike.


However I choose to spend my time,

I will know that I made this summer season mine.


Related Content

Facebook Comments