If you're looking for authentic, long-lasting relationships, don't look to online dating Apps like Tinder. At least, not according to the upcoming HBO documentary "Swiped: Hooking Up in the Digital Age."
It's interesting to see that in a world that has slowly accepted online dating as a social norm, there's still some media pushback on the hook-up culture. And there's good reason to push back because there are so many negatives.
Dating apps such as Tinder put too much emphasis on physical appearance. People are concerned about their looks just as much as they are on their significant other. Some argue that this is the case in all relationships, but there is A HUGE difference. For one thing, online daters are so quick to dismiss someone as unattractive before getting to know them. In offline dating, we tend to become more physically attracted to those whose personalities we like.
Additionally, it's hard to decipher someone's true personality online because you run the risk of being lied to and feeling the need to lie to others.
And let's not forget that online dating brought on many awful trends such as ghosting and catfishing.
Online dating is a huge obstacle to flourishing human relationships, but if we're being honest, it's not completely impossible to navigate.
The thing about online dating is that it's easier to meet people digitally. Offline, you rely on your current geographical location, people you might have already dated, and mutual friends to lead you to a potential significant other. The digital world broadens your horizon.
Alexis, age 24, has been dating her significant other for nearly four years, but he lives in England. After a year and a half of dating, they finally met each other in person and have been going strong ever since. She says, "By nature of the distance, we could only go all in or not at all. Hooking up and leaving wasn't an option for me."
But she's not the only one lucky in love because of online dating.
I have MANY friends that have met their spouse or significant other through some online dating service. Some have met through Tinder, OkCupid, Coffee Meets Bagel, Bumble, etc. and their relationships have been successful. So what begs the question is this - is online dating the actual problem?
If 5% of Americans who are married or in committed relationships met online, that's still 5% of online daters who made it work. No, it's not 95%, but that number is growing.
So, how can we make it work?
Danielle, age 21, met her significant other on Tinder after a few failed cliches and they've been together for almost two years. She says you can avoid the hook-up culture, "By being upfront about it and sticking to it. You have to keep going because there'll be people who are only interested in that. Stay safe while doing it, be a little picky, and think of your intentions and I think it's possible to find your person."
The hook-up culture started with apps like Tinder, but it doesn't mean we need to surrender the dating world to it.
The goal of online dating is to eventually move the relationship offline so we have to do our best to avoid the hookups and heartbreaks by taking the dating world back. And we know that's what society really wants. We want the old-fashioned romance back!
Otherwise, would movies like 'To All The Boys I Loved Before' featuring love letters and 'A Walk to Remember' featuring stargazing and long nights still win our hearts and make us swoon? No, they wouldn't.
Now, relationships may not look like the movies or the books, but it certainly doesn't have to look like hooking up either.
Dabble in online dating or don't because it's a personal choice, but whatever you choose, don't forgo the romance that comes with dating.
