Honesty In A Relationship
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Relationships

Honesty In A Relationship

Honesty is the glue to any kind of relationship: It leads to comfortability, feeling like the “real” you without wanting to crawl out of your skin, and just figuring out what makes you unique from everyone else.

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Honesty In A Relationship
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What exactly makes a relationship last? Physical attraction, mutual affection for one another, acceptance, maybe endless cuddles — it varies from person to person and can involve may components. Although it’s unique to every couple, I think one of the most important “secret” ingredients is honesty. Ba-BAM! Sounds simple, right? It’s kind of like when you say you’re going to go to the gym “this many” times a week and are going to eat healthily, but then you change your mind when your last minute candy impulses kick in when you check out of the grocery store — easier said than done.

To all the single ladies (cue Beyonce music), you may be extremely frustrated how rom-com’s today and even iconic ones of the past can give a false hope, as well as the expectations, of what a relationship should look like. In "The Notebook," Rachel McAdams is swept away by Ryan Gosling but then ditches the cute, rugged Gosling for a soldier. Years later, McAdams realizes that she should not have let her father’s opinion of Gosling get in the way of her true feelings and desires. Although these sappy, chick flicks get the job done, the movie industry falsely gives women a fake hope and unrealistic expectation of what a relationship looks like, let alone what it should be like.

Having an important line of communication is integral towards honesty. It might sound weird, but I’d rather have a guy be blunt and speak up his mind instead of being complacent, no matter how much it might make my stomach cringe. Remember, I’m an east-coaster so I’m definitely used to the brutal honesty and bluntness of Bostonians; needless to say, I can hold my own and not take anyone’s crap. Honesty is the glue to any kind of relationship: It leads to comfortability, feeling like the “real” you without wanting to crawl out of your skin, and just figuring out what makes you unique from everyone else.

Once upon a time, I was a girl like you — constantly annoyed and frustrated how my friends or other girls were able to find the right “catch,” while I professionally third-wheeled or just hibernated in my apartment within my blanket burrito. I constantly told myself my mantra, “everything happens for a reason,” but yet I started to question and doubt myself. Yes, I actually started to think that I would end up forever alone and be the mother of fifty dog fur babies.

After I left the gymnastics team during college, the remainder of my first semester as a junior and to the present day has let me be my own person- Lianne, not as the BSU gymnast, but Lianne: the sassy, east-coaster who’s President of the English Majors Association, the treasurer/Co-President of the Boise State Chinese Club, former competitive gymnastics coach, and an avid lover of coffee.

Besides these accolades, or call them what you will, I also have been able to actually have a social life (for those that know me fairly well, you’re probably gasping)! I’ve been on plenty of first dates, including the awkward/jenky ones and the ones that end up going good but then the guy is either flakey or ghosts altogether.

In every situation, regardless how it ended up, I would be my authentic and honest self. Yes, I could have been that vapid, basic girl who would do anything to make a guy like me, but deep down, I am wicked far from that — like trying to dig a hole from Idaho to Sri Lanka kind of far. Establishing this firm value inside of me has ultimately helped me set apart the assholes from the not-so asshole ones.

After many dates, a few jenky set-ups, and plenty of third wheeling, I am currently in a relationship — one firmly rooted in honesty, trust, open communication, and plenty of besos :) During winter break, we were on opposite sides of the country (yes, including different time zones), but we were able to make the time for each other. We constantly communicated through text, social media, and video messaged.

So, you may be asking, “what made this whole relationship thing work out for you, Lianne?” Constant open communication both face-to-face and through text, for those of you that know me on that deep level, I literally text like I’m talking to you. Despite this maybe being a pain in the butt for some of you, it is extremely important to be unapologetically you — honing what makes you your boss, clutch, and even queen self.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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