Dear Future Girlfriend,

By the time you read this, we will have indicated that we have taken a liking to each other, and a relationship is possibly impending in the near future. I have taken an over-extensive and tough journey to get to where I am now, as I am sure you will have your own side to tell. But here are a few things I need you to know…

I have a strong and close knit family. They were there first. We’ve been through what so many families never go through. Please understand that I love you, but also that I love them too. I promise to give equal attention and love to all parties involved, including your own family.

If you want to love me and be a part of my life, please don’t promise to choose me and love me in your everyday life, only to leave with no fair warning or ominous indication. I have had my heart broken because of my prior wrong choices and misplacement of faith and conviction.

In my long and treacherous journey, I have been recycled, shattered, treasured and elevated.

I have been let down by people far before you, as I too have hurt many people. But I promise you, I am entering my new voyage with nothing but honesty, openness and true intentions.

I will not let the wounds of my past relationships hurt or reproduce onto you. No, I have moved past that rubbish. It was not you. I’ve learned my lessons and I’m here to elude the blunders from the past. I am the most open, pure and honest version of myself I have ever been. I simply have no desire to cheat or mess around on you, nor do I have the time, and nor will I make the time.

I am writing this because it means I have found you and I want to have a life with you.

I want familiarity and understanding and laughter. But I also want the tears and the sorrow and the difficulties that keep you up in the middle of the night, when you’re trying to acquire just a glimpse of sleep. I want our skeletons to meet and fall in love just as we have. I want to know your fears, as you need to know mine.

I want a best friend. Someone I can talk to at two p.m. just as I can at two a.m. Someone who won’t mind me being goofy. Someone who will make me a priority. Someone who can stand in the eye of a hurricane and hold my hand as we brace ourselves for the outflow of the storm surge, never letting go.

But I also want a lover. Someone who isn’t afraid of my demons, as I promise to not be afraid of yours. Someone I can count on whether it’s as simple as picking up a few items at the grocery store to counting on you to come home to me every night.

I promise to never be like your exes. I will not play a relentless and exhausting game of hide and seek with your heart. I promise to never lie or hurt you, for that has been done to me in the past as well.

I want to argue beneficially without screaming and shouting, profanity and imputing. I want us to be true partners and learn every flaw of one another, but love it anyway.

I want negotiation and I need intelligence. I need silence and calm spaces amongst us, for sometimes I crave alone time and distance.

I want Noah and Allie, but I also want Jim and Pam.

I want random dance parties, and cooking together. I want a warm and inviting bed. I want to trust you fully – and for you to do the same for me.

I will be your support when you need strength. I will be your biggest fan.

I want you and all of you, because in turn for giving me yourself, I will give you all of me.

And if we can’t have all of this, then it’s imperative we stop where we are.

For I have learned what I deserve and desire.