Let me begin by saying I hate you, but I also hate him for doing this to me.

You are slimy and a schemer.

There is nothing either of you can say to make it okay.

This isn’t okay.

I am not okay.

My best friend broke the news to me. You were so very proud. Proud to be a homewrecker. You think it’s funny. What is funny about breaking someone’s heart and flipping their world upside down?

I guess I should have known long ago but I let myself sit in denial for months, just not wanting to believe it was true. But just because I chose to deny your existence doesn’t mean he did. He gave you all the attention you wanted, and that sickens me. I am physically ill from the thought. It’s like a nightmare you can never wake up from. I’m not sure you know the damage you’ve done. I’m not sure what goes through your head when you do the things you do but every time I think of him I think of you. Every memory I had of him is replaced with your face.

All the texts, the phone calls and the late night meet-ups. Where was your head? Where was his? You had my world in your hands. You had my sanity right lying next to you. You don’t deserve him, someone so giving... I guess to the both of us. So much so that he could carry on with two relationships at once. I know he is capable of so much more, his mind seemed to be so straight. I saw the world in his eyes and I saw a smart, witty boy. A boy who I confided in and someone I could talk to without hesitation about anything. Even when I asked about you, you were “the girl he told me not to worry about." But I guess you both fooled me. You both deserve someone like yourselves, selfish.

This time I have let you win, but next time I will not. I can thank you because now I will hold myself to a higher standard. I will not let anyone pull the wool over my eyes. I will no longer stalk your Instagram or twitter. I won’t keep myself up at night wondering if ya’ll are together or what he’s texting you, or if he’s texting you. I will find someone that will love me for me and only me. I hope you feel bad, I hope you hurt, but I also hope you’ve learned your lesson. I hope the both of you can understand the real value of a relationship, honesty, and trust… even with it’s with each other.