Recently, I was talking to my boyfriend, who had done a small paper for his class on what home is to him. I was intrigued as I read the paper, but a little downtrodden at his answer. It seemed that to him, home had become a toxic place. So I figured I’d do a somewhat similar piece on what I think home is. In my opinion, home is not just my tiny house near the woods in Lanham, MD. It’s the people I’ve befriended, my loved ones past and present, and the memories I hold near and dear to my heart. Home is anything that makes you safe and secure, and it’s the place that makes you, you.

I find a home in my mother. Phyllis Scott-Drewery, a single mother, who made sure that a day didn’t go by that I didn’t have clothes on my back, or food in my mouth. She worked late hours when I was younger, from sun up to sun down, making sure that I could be able to get a quality education. Some days she went without food or without buying new clothes, but she always made sure that I had everything I needed. She also was there when I needed her emotionally. As a child I was bullied and made fun of for my lack of nice clothes, for my shyness, and for the simple fact that sometimes little kids can simply be mean. I’d come home, and cry in her arms, and she’d give me words of encouragement, and let me know that I am important, and I have a gift, and no one can take that away from me. Her words of kindness have helped me through so much, and made me the person I am today. She also helped me find my voice, and helped me realize my true potential and all that I could be.

Another person that home reminds me of is my grandmother. From the day I was born until her death she was there as a constant reminder of a strong women who I could look up to. She always helped me and my mother out when we were struggling, and always gave me kind words of compassion when I was being bullied at school. Although she has passed away I still can remember her tender voice telling me that “everything would be okay.” and to “not stoop to the bullies’ level, but to rise above.” These words have helped shaped me into who the person I am today. Someone who tries their hardest be be kind, show compassion, and provide empathy when others need it. My grandmother also taught me life skills such as cooking (Although, I’m not a very good cook, don’t judge me!), and how to iron my clothes. These skills were very useful because before she taught me these essential living habits I was very confused on the magical and mythical responsibilities of being a adult (of course they’re not all that magical now-more of a hassle.).

Another person who reminds me of home is my best friends Bruno, Autumn and Camryne. My best friend Bruno reminds me of home because he has been with me through all my hardships, and moments that felt like pure agony. Through break-ups, financial issues, and the struggle of not being able to find the right mom jeans, he has always given me the real cold truth even if I didn’t want to hear it. As well as listening to me, he always helps me by providing money if I need it, and driving me around even if I sometimes don’t have enough money for gas (I think I owe him about one million dollars now). Autumn, who I’ve dubbed as Minnie for her height and mouse-like voice, is like my mom. She gives me advice, and selflessly listens to my problems even when she has some of her own, and just makes me laugh. Her smile is infectious, her laugh makes me laugh louder, and even when I’m having the worst of days just thinking about her makes me happy. Finally, Camryne has been my best friend since freshman year, like Autumn; but our friendship has developed from casual conversations to long blown talks about nothing and everything. She reminds me of home, because I know that no matter where I am she’s right with me every step of the way.

Now my boyfriend; he reminds me of home because he feels like a safe spot for me. He is the one person who makes me feel safe and secure that he will always be there even if we break up he will still be there for me. He cares about me, and I can truly be myself around him. My emotions have always been a struggle for me. I have never been the best at expressing myself or dealing with confrontation, but with my boyfriend I’m finding it easier to express myself, and finding that sometimes I don’t need to. He understands that somedays I just don’t feel like talking. He also understands that I have baggage in my past and he gives me time to deal with it in my own time but he also is very supportive if I need him to be there. We both have our baggage to deal with and it’s easier to carry it and deal with it when you can do it with someone else.

All these people remind me of home, because together they provide me with stability, happiness, and an overall better sense that life isn’t always gonna be as bad as it is in this moment, and that with a support system I can truly survive anything.