Compared to the rest of the college students on campus, it’s safe to say that my freshman status implies that I go home to visit family pretty often because I have not yet adjusted to living away on a college campus. However, I go home on the weekends much more frequently than the average first-year student. More often than not, I spend my weekends at home with my two parents, two younger brothers, and one younger sister. Many are often taken aback when I tell them how often I go home. Their initial reaction is to ask me whether or not my parents force me to do this. Imagine their confusion when I admit that I’m the one that tells my mom I want to go home on Friday morning. I can’t blame them for not entirely understanding why I love going home so much. College is supposed to be a time to embrace your independence, grow in new ways, take advantage of the lack of supervision, and to only worry about being responsible for yourself. The problem is that they don’t understand that this can still be fulfilled while keeping a relationship with your family a priority.
As the oldest of four children, I take much pride in the relationship I have with each of my siblings. Every favor asked, every awkward question, and every obnoxious statement that they direct toward me is recognized and cherished. I value the bond I have with my siblings too much to let it weaken right before my eyes. I want to be a part of their lives as much as I possibly can, just as much as I want them to be a part of mine. My siblings aren’t just some kids I lived with. They’re the same people that I grew up with, that I played Hungry Hungry Hippos with, and that I will depend on for the rest of my life.
Furthermore, my parents are the two people I can fully trust to be consistently supportive, honest, and keep my best interests at heart for the rest of my life. Although friends that I will make in college will be extremely important too, there is something special and irreplaceable about the relationship you have with your parents. I do not mean to claim that people who don’t visit home very often have bad relationships with their family members. I just mean to explain that there’s a difference between sending a text to your sister and sitting next to her while you laugh at a Twitter post. In fact, my relationship with my sister has actually improved since I moved away to college because we’re constantly texting each other. However, I can’t deny that spending time with her at home has been equally as important.
As for my “independence”, I do not think I am missing out on anything by spending two days a week back in my home town. During the school week I socialize with my friends, focus on my studies, and meet new people. I have strengthened old friendships as well as gained many new friendships (well, as many friendships as someone who is as introverted as I am can get). I have learned how to be comfortable eating in the cafeteria by myself, and how to rely on myself to get certain tasks done. I am still living away from home; I am still getting my “college experience”.
It is possible to mature and learn to live on your own while still keeping close with your family. It’s just that I don’t really want to choose spending a few hours at a Friday night party over watching my brothers get amped over whatever sport they’re watching on TV, or jamming in the car with my sister as I drive her to the mall. One of my favorite lyrics (by one of my favorite artists) is when Ed Sheeran says, “family is all I’ll ever have and need”. As important as independence is, I think the relationships you keep in your life are even more important, especially the one with your family.
