Yes, I Go Home More Than Most College Students, Stop Making Me Feel Bad About It

Yes, I Go Home More Than Most College Students, Stop Making Me Feel Bad About It

Those four hours in my car driving back home are so therapeutic.
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I go home more often than most of my friends at college. I know this. I make the four and a half hour trip back to my tiny hometown from school usually around once a month, whether we have a break from school or not.

Sometimes, if there's a reason I need to be home for something, I go more often than that. I know it sounds crazy, but I'm from the middle of nowhere, I'm used to driving for a long time to get to pretty much anywhere I want/need to go.

I really enjoy being at home, just like I really enjoy being at school, so why do I feel bad about being in my hometown every time I'm there and it isn't a break from school? Why do I feel embarrassed about telling my classmates that I'm going home, feel like I need to justify it to them? I shouldn't have to do this, but I do because other people make me feel weird about how often I go home.

I get comments like "oh, you're going to be gone again?" and, "Hey, weren't you just here?" or, my personal favorite, "Don't you have work you need to be doing? How do you have time to come/go?"

You can see why this might be annoying, even if people mean well. Let me tell you why I go home so often.

There are several reasons, but one of the biggest is that most of my family lives in my hometown. I don't just mean my mom, dad, and sister, I mean my grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, all of those people — and we're one of those families that's really close. I'm not going to not go see them regularly.

Another reason I go so often is because that's when I get to see my boyfriend of three-and-a-half years, who goes to college five hours away from my school. I also go because I like being home for big events, like the high school's big spring musical, which I used to be a part of, or the giant fall festival. I don't want to miss out on the things I loved about home just because I don't regularly live there.

But I think one of the biggest reasons I go home is actually because of UVA culture.

I love UVA. I love the people, the history, the tradition, the classes — everything. But it's a lot. The culture there is that you need to be perfect and you need to do effortlessly, even if you're actually dying inside. No one at UVA wears pajamas to class; everyone gets dressed and dresses up, even on casual days. Everyone came from the top of their high school graduating classes; four of the eight girls I live with were the valedictorian at their high schools and I have no doubt that that's pretty close to representative of the actual stats of who's on Grounds.

Everyone is smart. The classes are hard. You work hard, then you play hard, and you never let anyone see it if you can't keep up with that.

And, to be honest, sometimes I just need to get away from that.

Those four hours in my car driving back home are so therapeutic. They help me shake all of that off. There are times when I can almost physically feel a weight come off of my shoulders during those car rides by myself with the music blasting.

Then I get to my house where my mom is waiting to take care of me because she missed me and my dogs are jumping and barking because they missed me. Everything is just like it used to be, but different because I'm different, and I love that.

I come home a lot because sometimes the pressure of UVA culture is too much for me and I just really need to be away from it and be somewhere I'm not expected to be anything but myself for a little while.

So yes, I am going home again, classmate. Yes, person from home, I am back and, you know what, you're right — I do have work to do.

But let me worry about that. I can do work at home or work ahead before I come. I'm just happy to have somewhere I love so much to come back to.

Cover Image Credit: Michelle Tiller Photography

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It's Time To Thank Your First Roommate

Not the horror story kind of roommate, but the one that was truly awesome.
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Nostalgic feelings have recently caused me to reflect back on my freshman year of college. No other year of my life has been filled with more ups and downs, and highs and lows, than freshman year. Throughout all of the madness, one factor remained constant: my roommate. It is time to thank her for everything. These are only a few of the many reasons to do so, and this goes for roommates everywhere.

You have been through all the college "firsts" together.

If you think about it, your roommate was there through all of your first college experiences. The first day of orientation, wishing you luck on the first days of classes, the first night out, etc. That is something that can never be changed. You will always look back and think, "I remember my first day of college with ____."

You were even each other's first real college friend.

You were even each other's first real college friend.

Months before move-in day, you were already planning out what freshman year would be like. Whether you previously knew each other, met on Facebook, or arranged to meet in person before making any decisions, you made your first real college friend during that process.

SEE ALSO: 18 Signs You're A Little Too Comfortable With Your Best Friends

The transition from high school to college is not easy, but somehow you made it out on the other side.

It is no secret that transitioning from high school to college is difficult. No matter how excited you were to get away from home, reality hit at some point. Although some people are better at adjusting than others, at the times when you were not, your roommate was there to listen. You helped each other out, and made it through together.

Late night talks were never more real.

Remember the first week when we stayed up talking until 2:00 a.m. every night? Late night talks will never be more real than they were freshman year. There was so much to plan for, figure out, and hope for. Your roommate talked, listened, laughed, and cried right there with you until one of you stopped responding because sleep took over.

You saw each other at your absolute lowest.

It was difficult being away from home. It hurt watching relationships end and losing touch with your hometown friends. It was stressful trying to get in the swing of college level classes. Despite all of the above, your roommate saw, listened, and strengthened you.

...but you also saw each other during your highest highs.

After seeing each other during the lows, seeing each other during the highs was such a great feeling. Getting involved on campus, making new friends, and succeeding in classes are only a few of the many ways you have watched each other grow.

There was so much time to bond before the stresses of college would later take over.

Freshman year was not "easy," but looking back on it, it was more manageable than you thought at the time. College only gets busier the more the years go on, which means less free time. Freshman year you went to lunch, dinner, the gym, class, events, and everything else possible together. You had the chance to be each other's go-to before it got tough.

No matter what, you always bounced back to being inseparable.

Phases of not talking or seeing each other because of business and stress would come and go. Even though you physically grew apart, you did not grow apart as friends. When one of you was in a funk, as soon as it was over, you bounced right back. You and your freshman roommate were inseparable.

The "remember that one time, freshman year..." stories never end.

Looking back on freshman year together is one of my favorite times. There are so many stories you have made, which at the time seemed so small, that bring the biggest laughs today. You will always have those stories to share together.

SEE ALSO: 15 Things You Say To Your Roommates Before Going Out

The unspoken rule that no matter how far apart you grow, you are always there for each other.

It is sad to look back and realize everything that has changed since your freshman year days. You started college with a clean slate, and all you really had was each other. Even though you went separate ways, there is an unspoken rule that you are still always there for each other.

Your old dorm room is now filled with two freshmen trying to make it through their first year. They will never know all the memories that you made in that room, and how it used to be your home. You can only hope that they will have the relationship you had together to reflect on in the years to come.


Cover Image Credit: Katie Ward

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There Is No 'Right Way' To React To A Shooting

Everyone is different.

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After the shootings this year in New Zealand, Brazil, and close to home for some of us Aurora, people have been reacting in different ways. With some offering their thoughts and prayers, donating money to help pay for the funerals of the victims, fighting for action in regards to ending gun violence, candlelight vigils basically anything that can help them in this time of grief.

There is no right or wrong way to react to a shooting — everyone grieves in their own ways. We should not judge one another for how we grieve in a tragedy.

People have been saying that thoughts and prayers won't do anything. However, maybe it can be a comfort to some people—a way to let people know that they are thinking of them and that they care.

Sometimes people may want to donate money or blood to help out any survivors who may have suffered from blood loss or create GoFundMe accounts to either help out with medical expenses or to pay for the funerals of the victims or even start charities like Islamic Relief USA. Donating your time and money is a good way to help out because you are making a difference that is a form of action you are taking.

There is also grieving in the form of vigils. One example of a vigil is this guy who makes crosses every time there is some kind of tragedy. Vigils are often a good way to remember the victims, to pray for the healing of the survivors, to talk about what they were like as people.

Some people even want to take action by demanding that the laws change a good example of this would be March for Our Lives, which happened after the Parkland shooting last year. This march was fighting for gun control or should I say changes in the gun laws America currently has.

Some people also do acts of solidarity, for example, wearing a hijab like the prime minister of New Zealand did when she went to go visit the Christchurch shooting survivors. My community college had something a couple of years ago called Hijab Day to help show solidarity with our friends. I participated, and it was quite an experience—no one should ever be afraid to be who they are.

There is never a right or wrong way to react, and no one should ever criticize one another for how they react. It's not a test where there is a right or wrong answer—everyone is different and that is okay.

No one should ever have to be afraid to go to school, go to work, or go to their place of worship or wherever they decide to go. Whatever we decide to do to make a change, as long as we are taking some kind of action, is good enough for me.

Nothing ever gets done by sitting around and doing nothing, so whatever it is you do, get out there and do it. As long as you are showing support it doesn't matter how you show it.

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