In less than a week, I will be driving back to Spokane, Washington, my big grey house and the six other members of my wonderful family. After returning to college from Thanksgiving break a week ago and leaving home once more, I have started to think about the idea of home. During the break, I met to have breakfast with my best friend, and we talked about our first semesters of college and what it is like to be living in one place yet call another home. “It’s like being homeless,” she said, but I disagreed. The sun and air were both sharp that morning, and I couldn’t help but see the bright side of things. “No, it’s like we have two homes.” She laughed, “You would see it that way.”
College is a time of emotional upheaval for many students, not least because of the change that it brings to one’s idea and sense of home. Humans have a strange obsession with the idea of home. Whether or not the place that one calls home is tied to his or her biological family, most people have a sense of location and community wherein they “belong.” This is a very vague and rather cliche definition, so let me explain in a different way. Somehow, mankind ties itself to areas of land and groups of people. Familiar faces and places bring comfort and security to our lives.
That being said, many students find it hard to return to or leave home during their college years. The freedom and independence that one is allowed in college is probably somewhat stifled when a person returns to the responsibilities and relationships of their family. On the other hand, the corporate identity and bond of the family is lost when one moves away to college. Apart from the landmarks, people and interactions that have defined us for most of our lives, it is easy to feel homeless. In addition, even when you travel back to your hometown and once again sit around the kitchen table with your siblings and parents, you may find that home isn’t the same anymore. College changes people, and when people change, they often find that their perceptions of old and familiar things may also change.
I don’t mean for this to put a damper on your anticipation to return home for the holidays. By no means are these changes a bad thing, and, as I said before, I don’t believe that one has to feel homeless. Personally, I find that who I am is expanded by living six hours away from the people who I love most in the world. I find that my ability to have two homes is the same ability that allows me to adapt to different people and different situations without feeling like I have multiple identities. Just as different people draw out different parts of my personality and engage different parts of my soul, so each home that I now have reflects a different part of myself. These parts obviously overlap quite a bit, but nevertheless I find that returning either to my house or to my college campus brings out some tidbit of me that would remain silent at my other home.
So as you drive or fly back to the houses of your childhood this Christmas, don’t be discouraged by the change that you may find in yourself or in the people who you love. Remember to always listen and learn from the people around you. Hold fast to the old traditions and make new ones. Gather both old and new to yourself so that you may grow in your ability to understand others and find the good and beautiful things in life.
