A little over a year ago, my life changed forever. I found out I was pregnant in the beginning of November and went through the entire holiday season knowing of my growing family. That is perhaps why I took time to appreciate my family more than I usually do last holiday season. That is also why every holiday season reminds me of that special time that once held the excitement over my growing family. So as we have already passed through Thanksgiving and Christmas, I think now is as good a time as any to let you know a little bit of what it is like to be a part time stay-at-home mom.
Being a part time stay-at-home mom is in no way the same thing as being a part-time mom. I am always a mom, every hour of every day. However, I spend some of my time as a stay-at-home mom and some of my time at my part-time job. Being a stay-at-home mom part-time is like any part-time job, except with no start or end time. I don’t have to clock in or out. In fact, I can’t. I am constantly on the clock. I get to spend half of my week with my daughter, cleaning the house, cooking, doing all the things a stay-at-home mom would do, then spend the other half of my week out of the house at work. It really provides the best of both worlds. However, it is not a cake walk.
Like I said, I don’t have the luxury of punching the time clock in or out. Even when I am at work, I still play the role of mom. I still have to be on the figurative clock. My day and night, often times, are not divided by light and dark. For most, the night begins when the sun sets. However, especially when my daughter was a newborn, nights and days blended. She slept as much during the day as she did at night. Now, she has luckily broken the habit. Yet, I don’t have the luxury of using the darkness outside or sleep as an excuse. I can no longer say I am sleeping so I don’t have to help her or feed her. If she tosses and turns, it is my job to find out what’s wrong and/or rock her to sleep. But even though I never considered myself a morning person, I don’t mind waking up at all hours of the night. Spending this time with my daughter is a bonding experience which I know I am going to miss when she becomes too big to hold.
Contrary to popular belief, stay-at-home moms don’t sit around all day and take naps. On the other hand, we are up and constantly moving throughout our day. As the babies get older, the moms get less time to do housework. What used to entertain a 3 month old for hours only entertains a 6 month old for minutes. As such, moms have to find more things to keep our children entertained so we can successfully complete the laundry or cooking dinner. So no. I don’t take a nap. I don’t sit watching TV all day. Instead, my day consists of laundry, paying bills, cleaning and all the tedious work that you hate. I often find myself rushing and running just to get things done before the baby wakes up from her nap. The work of a stay-at-home mom is only made worse because we are expected to do more than we can. Because we stay home and people think we just take naps all day, they expect us to do much more than we can. That’s more pressure on us. So now, instead of simply cooking and taking care of a precious growing child, I now have to constantly ensure the house is spotless. Sometimes, moms can’t do it all. Sometimes the baby wakes up and requires constant attention.
Being a stay-at-home mom is like working a full-time job with overtime and not getting paid. We can’t take sick days or say we are going to be late. We say how hard it is to be a parent every year on Mother's or Father’s day but then we turn around and fail to acknowledge how hard it is to be a stay-at-home mom every day. I’m not saying it is harder than working a full-time job, even though it might be. I am simply saying that America should start acknowledging that it is just as hard. It is not this life of lazy luxury some cut it out to be.
Don’t get me wrong. I love it. I love watching my baby grow and learn as she becomes older. But it’s not for everyone, as it shouldn’t be. The idea of a stay-at-home mom is a patriarchal and outdated tradition that no one should feel forced into. Yet, that’s a story for a different article.
