If you haven't seen Elf yet ... who are you? What are you doing? Is there room for me under the rock you've clearly been living under? Clearly, it's time for you to join the world of the living and watch the movie. Join our side. It's more fun and we have jingle bells and Christmas cookies! Anyways, everyone knows that there's a lot to be learned from Buddy the Elf, so sit down and buckle up, because we're about to take a magical trip through the seven levels of the candy cane forest, through the sea of swirly-twirly gumdrops and even through the Lincoln tunnel!
Lesson #1 - Don't Let Anyone Shame You For Your Holiday Eating Habits.
Seriously, though. Do you want thirds, fourths, or fifths of your Christmas dinner? You go for it. Is your senile great-aunt eyeing you with your plate heaped high with mashed potatoes with a side of a full stick of butter? Tell her that the freshman fifteen is a joke and move along. Has the button on your pants already broken, flown across the room and blinded your uncle? Pride yourself on your aim and waddle back to the kitchen for more food. Ramsey will still be here when you get back, even if your parents do have to put you in your own personal U-HAUL to make it back to campus.
Lesson #2 - It Is Totally Okay To Be EXTREMELY Excited For Festive Activities.
We all know that we wait all year just to hear those magical words: gingerbread house building, ice skating, christmas cookie decorating, and tree trimming! Don't let anyone shame you into dampening your holiday spirit. Enjoy all the magic that comes with this season — all the gaudy red-and-green, overly glittered, shiny and peppermint-flavored magic it is. Let no cries of "White girl only doing this for the Instagram pictures!" shut you down even if you did, in fact, do your hair and makeup just so that you would look presentable and cute in your ice skating Instagram. We know how it is, girl. We see you and we understand.
Lesson #3 - The Love You Have For Christmas Music Is Real And Special. Don't Listen To Anyone That Says Otherwise.
Listen, the best way to spread Christmas cheer is by singing loudly for all to hear. If they haven't heard of this rule, they haven't seen Elf and are most definitely a cotton-headed ninnymuggins. Either way, if you're loving the Christmas music you've had blasting in your car since mid-October, keep on enjoying it. Spread that Christmas cheer wherever you go.
Lesson #4 - Be Sure To Follow The Four Main Food Groups.
Another food-related lesson, but this is the holidays so who's surprised here? Christmas is a wonderful time filled with all the sweet treats your heart could ever desire and some that it never would have thought of on its own. From gingerbread cookies to eggnog to piles and piles of candy, the amount of sugar that's about to be everywhere is both insane and amazing. The holidays are the perfect time to let that crazy, sugar-addicted child that lives inside you out of her cage. Stick to those four main food groups (candy, candy canes, candy corn, and syrup) and you should be just fine.
Lesson #5 - When Decorating, Go Big Or Go Home.
One paltry ribbon wrapped halfheartedly around your dorm room doorknob? Go home. Take your sad ribbon and get out. If you have the means, go as big as you can on holiday decorations. The look you're going for is a mutant hybrid between winter wonderland and Santa's workshop, and you won't settle for anything less than spectacular. Listen to no one who tells you that it's "too over the top" or "snow makers are a prohibited item and not allowed in the dorm buildings." They are trying to ruin your holiday spirit, don't let them. Sit in your futon under a ceiling of Christmas lights, sipping your hot cocoa and surrounded by your Christmas music while wearing your ugly Christmas sweater. Soak in all the festivities. Enjoy.