A couple friends took me hiking for the first time a few weeks ago. It wasn’t Pike’s Peak or anything, but it was still a good distance to the overlook. Since I’ve spent several more hours in the library than the gym this semester, I got tired pretty quickly. Once I saw the view, though, my fatigue didn’t matter the slightest. It was breathtaking.

For some reason, it seems that the most satisfying things in life aren’t so satisfying at first. Workout sessions, college degrees, and successful relationships all require some sort of personal loss, but we still feel oddly content knowing what the outcome will be, and we’re especially ecstatic when we actually get there. It’s almost as if we’re wired to appreciate the things that call for sacrifice. Perhaps this is the case because the greatest satisfaction we could ever attain calls for the greatest sacrifice we could ever make—that is, the fulfillment found in Jesus Christ requires nothing short of a life laid down.

“And he said, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it,’” (Luke 9:23-25 ESV).

First, notice Jesus prefaces his entire statement about gaining eternal salvation with the phrase, “If anyone would come after me.” To the dismay of many, this eliminates cultural Christianity. We aren’t striving for a concept, a cause, a religion, or a tradition—we’re wholeheartedly chasing Jesus Christ himself. Church attendance isn’t the Way, faithful tithing isn’t the Truth, and a ceremonial baptism isn’t the Life. While these acts are incredibly important, they are but the intended results of following the only path that leads to Jesus: genuine denial of self.

Abandonment of ourselves begins with acknowledging, believing, and confessing that God is who He says He is, and He did what He claims to have done. We must relinquish the notion that God needs us, that we’re “good enough” for Heaven, or that we deserve some blessed treatment. In fact, God is the only self-sufficient Being, and the universe is entirely contingent upon Him. This includes us. We need also understand that as we are, we’re eternally separated from Him due to our own actions—sin, specifically—and any bridge between us must be established and maintained by Him alone. Thankfully, and to His praise, He has done so. In His complete, unmerited mercy, God has offered forgiveness for our sins against Him through the perfect life, undeserved death, and glorious resurrection of His Son, Jesus Christ. If we hope to attain the Life that God offers to us, we must deny ourselves and surrender our self-sufficiency to the substitutional atonement of the cross. (Say that five times fast.) The Christian walk, however, does not end with salvation—nor is the first step the only one that calls for self-denial.

Salvation leads to arguably the most painful part of Christianity: sanctification. In other words, once we accept Christ, we begin to follow Him; in following Him, we become more like Him and less like us. Since we have a long way to go, the process takes a long time—a lifetime, to be exact. So how do we begin our journey of sanctification? The concept is deep and it encompasses quite a bit, but one integral component is (surprisingly) denial of self. Think about it like this—if you were to walk outside and dig a hole, that hole will eventually be filled with something. You can either fill it with whatever you want, or you could just leave it be and let it fill up on its own. The process of denying oneself to become like Christ is similar. The point is to intentionally “dig a hole” within your own life and fill it with the presence, grace, and character of God. The holes can be basically anywhere you devote time, effort, or even thoughts. Examples include relationships, athletics, academics, and work. These holes don’t need to be total abandonments of these areas, but they need to be sacrificial—if you’re not suffering a personal loss, you’re not denying yourself. The more holes you dig and the bigger they are, the more God you can allow in your life, and the more like Christ you become. So all you have to do is just dig a ton of holes, right?

Not quite. Like I mentioned earlier, the holes you dig will ultimately be filled whether you intend to fill them or not. Once you create a void in your life, something is going to go there. Thus, making the sacrifices is essential, but that step alone is not enough. Remember—it’s losing your life for Jesus’s sake that saves it. Through intentional prayer and meditation on Scripture, you must let God fill the holes you create. These efforts to draw near to Him through the denial of yourself will manifest as you taking up your cross daily and following Jesus.

Digging and filling holes sounds great and all, but how do you know where to dig? Always, always, always, pray about it. Ask God what the weights and sins are that hold onto you, and ask where you can turn more focus to Him. Ask where you fall short in devotion. Ask what you prioritize over Him. The best spot to break ground will probably become apparent, and I bet you’ll try to make it cloudy again. If you find yourself intentionally repressing something that you know needs improvement, that’s probably where you need to start. Don’t forget that the whole point of digging is to make a sacrifice.

Sanctification is not easy to undergo. Just the thought of becoming like Christ sounds difficult. Whether you end up fasting, setting boundaries or taking breaks in a relationship, or passing up some golden opportunity, it will hurt. You shouldn’t expect to waltz right through personal loss and devotion to Christ. You should, however, expect every effort to be entirely worth it. It’s one of those satisfying-but-not-but-is things that makes you feel strangely content because you know the purpose and outcome. But, unlike a good workout, a college education, or a successful relationship, striving after Jesus fulfills you. Running to God’s open arms quenches the longing for eternity within our hearts that temporary pleasures simply can’t satisfy. As strange as it sounds, learning to deny yourself and take up your cross to follow Jesus will teach you countless reasons and ways to say life is good.