I used to think that being stone cold was "normal" or "cool" even. The fact is, it is extremely unhealthy to hold back what you're feeling. I can say that I grew up surrounded by peers who thought feelings were the enemy. However, it's actually been going on longer than my own generation. Each has their own way of justifying it or making it normal throughout society. The notion that if you're in tune with your feelings, then you're seen as "too emotional" or "too much". People will follow what they're told and what they grow up hearing so often, so it's no surprise that we all feel or have felt this way at some point. I'm no saint, and I absolutely have spent most of my life retracting feelings whenever I could. It left me with a weird unfulfilled feeling at the end of the day, but it's what everyone else is doing; right?

My so-called "revelation" came when I began acting. I always had a love for the arts, but only began performing my Junior year of high school. There's a lot that comes with acting, and a lot of things you should do to become a genuine actor. The main thing is: you must let yourself be vulnerable on stage. Yes, on stage… the most open and public place you can be. You are quite literally on display while a huge crowd sits and watches you. And yet, you must be vulnerable, you have to let people- whom most of the time are strangers- in. This is something I refused to do at first, and my acting 100% suffered because of it. I had built up a wall and kept my emotions so tightly wound up, that the acting wasn't believable. Until one day it just happened- all at once, I let myself open up.

I learned that crying is more than okay, and if it's how I'm feeling; then I'm gonna have me a damn good cry. I learned how to tell another person exactly how I felt about them, without feeling embarrassed. I realized that expressing how I feel with no restrictions, is the greatest release of all. I had to find peace within myself and with everything that I've gone through. I had to do this in order to become vulnerable to others. Because if I'm at peace with myself and the things I carry, then being vulnerable isn't as scary.

They can really see you and feel what you're feeling- but they'll never be able to harm you or use that information against you.

I think that's the biggest drawback of being emotional and in-tune with your feelings, the idea that you may get made fun of. Or that someone will reject you. OR that they'll see you, and treat you, as weak. When really, it's the complete opposite. When I started being honest and open with my feelings, I realized there's no greater gift in this life. The fact that we have all of this stuff inside of us- love, anger, happiness, sadness, and so on. Yes, the good and the bad. It's healthy to also have the bad, it's a balance and it keeps us in check. Keeps us human and genuine. The fact that we have all of these things and yet decide not to use them, is just insane to me. The saying "Life is short" is more than just the fact that not everyone is promised a long life. It means that whatever duration of time you have here, why wouldn't you want to make it as fulfilling and honest and beautiful as possible?

I don't see what you get out of holding back your emotions. Why are people are so incredibly scared to say "I love you". Why are young girls okay with being treated badly, and fine with keeping their feelings to themselves if that means keeping a boyfriend (who usually isn't worth it anyway). Why wouldn't you tell that person that you really like their outfit today. Why Why Why! I for one don't want to look back on life and ask "Why didn't I do that? Why didn't I tell them how I felt?" That, to me, would be the greatest devastation of all. I get that it can be scary to open up, and that some people aren't too kind. Some will even manipulate that vulnerability. However, you have to be smart with it. If someone is taking advantage of your genuine nature, then you need to get rid of that trash; you'll feel so much better. Like I said, it's a balance; you should remind yourself often to "be the wolf". Wolves symbolize loyalty and spirit, they trust their hearts and minds while also keeping control over their lives. From them, we can learn to make emotional attachments to things and people but always trust your instinct. Be. The. Wolf.

The thing is, we as humans are amazing and interesting, and so I'm going to continue to share my feelings with others. My friends and family will always know just how much they're loved and appreciated. That's just how things should be. As someone who has been called "too emotional" and "too much", I can say that I don't have time for that fake bullshit anymore. If someone can't handle you, then they just don't deserve you.