Holden Caulfield's Best Quotes

"The Catcher in the Rye" is one of the most influential books in existence, and it's main character, teenaged Holden Caulfield, represents teenage rebellion at it's finest. While most people who have read the book have either loved it or hated it, Holden Caulfield says some pretty true things. Here are 13 of Holden Caulfield's greatest quotes from "The Catcher in the Rye":

1. "He hated it when you called him a moron. All morons hate it when you call them a moron."

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He's not wrong. Try it.

2. "That's the whole trouble. You can't ever find a place that's nice and peaceful, because there isn't any. You may think there is, but once you get there, when you're not looking, somebody'll sneak up and write "Fuck you" right under your nose. Try it sometime. I think, even, if I ever die, and they stick me in a cemetery and I have a tombstone and all, it'll say "Holden Caulfield" on it, and then what year I was born and what year I died, and then right under that it'll say "Fuck you." I'm positive, in fact."

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Just prove him wrong.

3. "The thing with kids is, if they want to grab for the gold ring, you have to let them do it, and not say anything. If they fall off, they fall off, but it's bad if you say anything to them."

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Holden Caulfield giving parental advice since 1945.

4. "Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody."

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Brings you back to the good times.

5. "I mean how do you know what you're going to do till you do it? The answer is, you don't. I think I am, but how do I know? I swear, it's a stupid question."

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Unless you never do it.

6. "People are always ruining things for you."

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And nothing has ever been truer.

7. "He was one of those guys that think they're being a pansy if they don't break around forty of your fingers when they shake hands with you. God, I hate that stuff."

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Holden Caulfield calling men out on their masculine bullshit.

8. "I'm always saying "Glad to've met you" to someone I'm not at all glad I met. If you want to stay alive, you have to say that stuff, though."

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This is just the way the world is.

9. "It was funny. It made me feel sort of sad when I hung it up. I thought of her going in a store and buying it, and nobody in the store knowing she was a prostitute and all. The salesman probably just thought she was a regular girl when she bought it. It made me feel sad as hell-- I don't know why exactly."

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Try to look at people the same again.

10. "Catholics are always trying to find out if you're a Catholic."

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People in the subway, Jehovah's Witness, people on the city streets. Anyone and anywhere, basically.

11. "Goddam money. It always ends up making you blue as hell."

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Realizing how poor you are makes you blue as hell.

12. "You know what the trouble with me is? I can never get really sexy- I mean really sexy- with a girl I don't like a lot. I mean I have to like her a lot. If I don't, I sort of lose my goddam desire for her and all. Boy, it really screws up my sex life for something awful. My sex life stinks."

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Demisexual Holden, anyone?

13. "I thought it was "If a body catch a body," I said. 'Anyway, I keep picturing this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around- nobody big, I mean- except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff-- I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. that's all I'd do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be. I know it's crazy.' "

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Anyone who's actually really read "The Catcher in the Rye" knows just why this is and always will, without a doubt, be the best quote in the entire book. If you don't, look it up.