We learn a lot of lessons in our first 20-some years of life. It's a time of immense growth and reflection and full of twists and turns and discovering ourselves. It's not easy but, in the end, it can be rewarding. Here are 11 life lessons that hit me hard.

1. Being angry only harms you, and no one is really interested in why you're mad.

Being angry is something which, in my opinion, is useless whatever the reason. You learn as you grow that there is no point in getting angry at small things that won’t matter a few months from now. This sounds hypocritical coming from me (who had a very small anger threshold), but I have improved over years and learned how to breathe and think before getting angry. You will lose friends over this. It's better to keep your anger in control and be more understanding.

2. No one will solve your problems for you.

Your life is your problem...and only your problem--no one else’s. The sooner you understand that, the better. When I was young, I used to cry over the smallest of issues, thinking someone would solve the problem for me. I quickly found out this wasn't the case. I had to do it myself. Being in graduate school makes you realize this, even more, when you are responsible for getting a good job and working on research problems about which only you know. No one comes to your rescue.

3. Finding someone who really understands you is the greatest gift.

Communicating with the wrong people, you can say something and they will understand something else and that ends up creating even more problems than you already have. Instead of being relaxed, you become more tense with the wrong people. People who understand you and actually listen to you are hard to find. Don’t take them for granted. You will regret it later when they get tired of your nonchalance.

4. Consistency always beats intelligence.

Working hard always beats intrinsic intelligence. Consistency is the most important thing. Small progress is always better than no progress. Spurts of work don't help. My work ethic used to depend on my mood, but I improved over years. I understood that a bad mood wasn't going to help me succeed. But, my work will. Simple.

5. Being intelligent never hurts.

I have interacted with some super smart people in my life, and I have been fortunate enough to see the same people work immensely hard. Had they not been both intelligent and determined, their smarts would have gone down the drain. If you know you are intelligent, use it for your own good rather than using it for a useless purpose. I will let you judge what’s useless and what’s not.

6. My life is not entirely in my own hands.

My life until today has been the sum of my, my family’s and my friends’ efforts. I am not my own man. I am here because people have helped me reach where I am. The worst thing to do is not appreciate the people and conditions that have allowed us to get where we are today. Thank all the people in your life, good and bad. You are the sum of good and bad experiences. Learn to appreciate the bad ones, too. It sounds counterintuitive, but you learn as you grow up that they also help to shape who you become.

7. People are selfish. So am I.

I am no saint. I accepted this fact very early in my life. I can be ruthless. I can be a heartless, selfish person. Am I always like this? Of course not. Can I be like this occasionally? Yes, of course. Can someone else be selfish? Yes. That’s the point. If I can be selfish and ruthless, so can anyone. Be you. Don’t try to change too much for others unless you really love that person. Other than that, it doesn’t actually help a lot. You lose yourself in the process. Be unapologetically you but don't be an ass and hurt people, too. Know you limits.

8. Siblings will probably be your lifelong friends.

Doesn’t matter how much you used to hate your sibling(s) or how much you fought with them. They are the people who really get you (and humiliate you in the worst possible way, too) as they have known you forever.

9. Don’t make impulsive decisions. Delay it.

As someone who makes impulsive decisions, which I still do, this is something I am still trying to work on. I delay decisions nowadays. I wait as long as I can to actually think things through and make decisions with my rational brain and not the emotional one. It helps a lot.

10. Listen more. Talk less.

You become a lifelong learner when you actually learn the art of listening to people instead of “hearing” them out. I have always been a very talkative person. I still am. But, I try to work on it and listen more. It has made me realise how much there is to learn from others when you aren’t just talking about yourself.

11. Never forget your past. Learn from it.

As I mentioned a few lines back, you are the sum of your experiences. Embrace your past. Accept it. Forgive yourself for the bad things. Stop being too proud of what you did five years back. Learn from the mistakes and achievements instead of just talking about them.

I have a long way to go in life but, with these 11 lessons I've learned, I feel confident that I can go forward and make better decisions to become wiser and more successful each day.