So, my family is mixed when it comes to cultural celebrations. We take a few traditions from both the Mexican and the American cultures. As I matured, those traditions seemed to water down and became almost invisible to me. There came a point where I honestly couldn’t care less for certain traditions. But, when I moved to Dallas and started going to school, I felt differently.
At first I felt alienated by certain things; I mean I wasn’t deeply rooted into my Hispanic heritage, nor did I feel deeply rooted in the American culture. I floated in this cultural limbo for a while until I started realizing I missed the few things from my Hispanic heritage. I missed eating elote (corn) with my mom and drinking a licuado (like a shake). I missed eating frijoles with my breakfast tacos and listening to Spanish music, while acting like I didn’t enjoy it. I missed all those little things that were from my Hispanic roots.
Before I would take these things for granted, but I found myself baffled at their disappearance. It was as if a color vanished from my sight. It hit me though; these things aren’t gone. Of course, I can’t casually do these things anymore, but I can keep a little bit of the culture alive. I can play music, and I can dance with friends (or try to at any rate). I can go to events on campus. It’s my life, so why shouldn’t I enjoy that part of my heritage?
It’s interesting and inspiring; we have so much power over our own cultural identities and can do so much to grow ourselves as people. I’m sure others have experienced these cultural limbos. These cultural limbos can be caused by our own opinions on what each culture is. When I used to think of my Hispanic heritage, I would just think of my cousins, who were so different than me. They were the cousins that would blast music, drink and dance. Now, I think of it differently — I see it now as rich and meaningful. I see my heritage as something unique, and even though I don’t fit in completely, it's a component of who I am as a person.
College, and the short time I’ve spent here, has allowed me to connect to things that I thought were foolish before. In all honesty, I would have never enjoyed dancing to Spanish music until I experienced dancing without it. I would have never missed Mexican food until I couldn’t have access to it anymore. When I lost the little things from my heritage, I was shocked to realize how essential they were to forming me.
As the holiday season is slowly approaching, I find myself more than excited to return home. I’m excited for making tamales at Christmas and for visiting both sides of my culture on Thanksgiving. I’m also excited for just showing off my traditions, though few, and embracing the little things. I don’t have to be completely ingrained with the Hispanic heritage, but I also don’t have to feel as if it’s not a part of me. It’s just one part of a piece of me, and it will always have a special place in my heart.
