Trying your best and never feeling like it is enough is up there on one of the worst feelings ever.
But what if I told you that it was enough for someone?
What if I told you that there was a God who looks at your brokenness and still chooses to love you and care for you, even when you feel like you don't deserve it?
I personally have struggled with my faith a lot within the past year. I remember thinking at several points that I "had the world". Sure I thanked God and prayed that the situations and relationships I was in wouldn't end, but I also prayed that if it wasn't meant to be that he would lead the way. And sure enough, he led me away from those situations and those relationships. I remember being angry and questioning why he would take away something (that I thought) was so good. A few months had passed, and I prayed less and less. If I did, it was the whole "why me?" prayer followed by a whole lot of self pity.
Once Easter rolled around, I went to church for the first time in who knows how long. I had been to that church before, as a kid, and had missed going to that church because it was so much better (in my eyes) than the church my family was currently attending. That one service changed things for me. No it wasn't because it was the typical "He is risen" sermon, it was the way the pastor talked about Jesus and the way the worship band praised Him. That day I found a new hope, a newfound purpose for my life, and His plan for me.
Am I saying that I'm a perfect person now and that I constantly seek him out every day? No. But I am trying my best to put my trust in him and to not worry so much about my future. I used to think "How could God take away something that I thought was everything and the person who I thought was my forever?" But now, I think that if at one point I thought that I had the world, and if God could send me that person and taken them away so quickly, then I can't even begin to imagine the person that God has in store for me.
What I think the hardest lesson for any impatient person, is the lesson of patience. Seeing God work in my life and teaching me this lesson has been very trying, and I always am sure to thank him for pushing my stubborn self to accept and learn this lesson.
Faith isn't rainbows and sunshine like some people make it out to be. Life does get challenging, but how awesome is it that we have such a loving and forgiving God that is there every time we fall? Some times you have to just take it day by day and have faith that something will come out of all of the hurt and worries that you have if you just put some faith in Him.
