Hilarious Homonyms

Hilarious Homonyms

And wear to fined them...

If you're a writer, an editor or even a reader, you've probably run across sets of words that make no sense. Some words sound the same (and maybe even look the same), yet their meanings are completely different. What gives?

English is a funny enough language without words masquerading around, pretending to be something they're not. The type of sneaky word I'm talking about is referred to as a homonym, which is defined as a word pronounced the same as another but differing in meaning, whether spelled the same way or not. Many people dislike homonyms, but I find them quite hilarious, at times. After years of writing and editing, I have grown quite fond of them. They have their own special sense of humor when they show up in a scene, unexpected and unannounced, and so, in their honor, let me share with you some of my favorite (and sometimes, most embarrassing) homonyms:

1. Bear/Bare

When you've barely started to bare your feelings, but it's already too much to bear:

Also, this bear is bare.

2. Dear/Deer

When your dearest dares to sneak a kiss:

I find it quite endearing, but this deer isn't having any from his darling.

3. Band/Banned

When you find out that your favorite band has been banned, but you've already got tickets to the show:

That's a shame about your band. Without them, the show will be pretty bland.

4. Meet/Meat

When you meet a friend for dinner:

You never want to meat a friend for dinner. That's like having them for dinner when you plan on having them for dinner...

5. Bury/Berry

When you want to bury that annoying person at work, but murder is illegal, so you do the next best thing:

Oh! You've berried him! With a berry pie! Bonus points if his name was Barry. Pie five!

6. Tail/Tale

When you settle to share a long tale, but suddenly, you're not so sure:

How awkward. Perhaps you should take your tail elsewhere.

7. Ball/Bawl

When the prince won't dance with you at the ball:

Cheer up - there's no need to bawl! I hear he's not even good at sports.

8. Vain/Vein/Vane

When you go to the vein doctor, but he's actually a vain doctor:

Yikes! It looks like he's paying more attention to his reflection than he is to your problems. He's so rude that it doesn't even matter whether he's a vein doctor or a vain doctor. You'd get just as much help from a weather vane doctor!

9. Sew/Sow/So

When you sew yourself a sunny satchel so you can better sow your seeds:

It doesn't matter that your garden only turned out so-so; at least you got that satchel out of it.

10. Rain/Rein/Reign

When it's raining, so you have to rein in your enthusiasm:

It doesn't matter if you reign over a whole country, the rain falls on the just and unjust alike.

11. Pique/Peek/Peak

When something piques your interest, so you try to catch a sneak peek:

Uh-oh! Perhaps you shouldn't have peeked at the peak. It looks a little steamed...

Did I cover your favorite homonym? Which ones have given you trouble in the past? Let me know in the comments! Until next time, ciao!

(I couldn't help myself, but you can help yourself to one last homonym pun. Chow down, even!)

Cover Image Credit: Conceptually

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What Your Hogwarts House Says About You

Get yourself sorted and find out where you belong in the world of witchcraft and wizardry.

Sorting at Hogwarts is a big deal. Being sorted into a house is essentially being placed into a family while you are away from home learning about witchcraft and wizardry. Your house is made up of the people you will live with, go to classes with, play Quidditch with and everything in between. You basically spend 24/7 with them. Your Hogwarts house is your home away from home.

When you get sorted into a house, it is based on your personality traits. The people in your house are typically like-minded people who display the same characteristics as you.

When you’re a first year at Hogwarts, the minute you set foot in the castle you are swept into the Great Hall to have the ancient Sorting Hat placed on your head. This Sorting Hat decides which “family” you’ll be spending your seven years with.

For some, it is very obvious which house they will be in, due to certain personality traits they possess. For others, they may exemplify traits that fit a multitude of houses and are uncertain where they may end up.

To find out where you belong, you can take the official "Harry Potter" Sorting Hat quiz at Pottermore.com. For all you muggles out there, these are the characteristics that the houses possess and what your house says about you:

Gryffindor: The house of the brave, loyal, courageous, adventurous, daring and chivalrous. Those who stand up for others are typically Gryffindors. Brave-hearted is the most well-known Gryffindor characteristic, and Gryffindors are also known for having a lot of nerve.

Gryffindors are people who hold a multitude of qualities alongside the ones listed, making them a very well-rounded house. People who are Gryffindors are often people who could fit nicely into another house but choose to tell the sorting hat they want Gryffindor (there's that bravery). "Do what is right" is the motto Gryffindors go by.

Being a Gryffindor means that you're probably the adventurous and courageous friend, and you are usually known for doing what is right.

Ravenclaw: The house is known for their wisdom, intelligence, creativity, cleverness and knowledge. Those who value brains over brawn can be found here. Ravenclaws often tend to be quite quirky as well. "Do what is wise" is the motto they strive to follow.

Though Ravenclaws can be know-it-alls sometimes, they most likely do know what the wisest decision is.

If you are known for being the quirky friend, the smartest in the group or just great at making wise decisions, you're definitely a Ravenclaw.

Hufflepuff: This house values hard work, dedication, fair play, patience, and loyalty. Hufflepuff’s are known for being just and true. "Do what is nice" is their motto.

Hufflepuff is known as the “nice house” and believes strongly in sparing peoples feelings and being kind. This is not to say that Hufflepuffs aren't smart or courageous. Hufflepuffs just enjoy making others happy and tend to be more patient towards people.

If you ever find that you are too nice for your own good and cannot bear to hurt someone’s feelings, congratulations, you are a Hufflepuff.

Slytherin: This is the house of the cunning, prideful, resourceful, ambitious, intelligent, and determined. Slytherin's love to be in charge and crave leadership. "Do what is necessary" is the motto of this house.

Slytherin is a fairly well-rounded house, similar to the other houses. They are loyal to those that are loyal to them just as Gryffindors are and are intelligent as Ravenclaws.

Slytherin house as a whole is not evil, despite how many dark wizards come out of this house. That is merely based on the choices of those wizards (so if your friend is a Slytherin, don’t judge, it doesn’t mean they are mean people). Slytherins do, however, have a tendency to be arrogant or prideful. This is most likely due to the fact that everyone in Slytherin is exceedingly proud to be there.

What Hogwarts house you’re in says a lot about the person you are, the traits you possess and how you may act in some situations. But in the end, your house is really just your home that is always there for you. Always.

Cover Image Credit: Warner Bros Pictures

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