Hilarious Homonyms

Hilarious Homonyms

And wear to fined them...

If you're a writer, an editor or even a reader, you've probably run across sets of words that make no sense. Some words sound the same (and maybe even look the same), yet their meanings are completely different. What gives?

English is a funny enough language without words masquerading around, pretending to be something they're not. The type of sneaky word I'm talking about is referred to as a homonym, which is defined as a word pronounced the same as another but differing in meaning, whether spelled the same way or not. Many people dislike homonyms, but I find them quite hilarious, at times. After years of writing and editing, I have grown quite fond of them. They have their own special sense of humor when they show up in a scene, unexpected and unannounced, and so, in their honor, let me share with you some of my favorite (and sometimes, most embarrassing) homonyms:

1. Bear/Bare

When you've barely started to bare your feelings, but it's already too much to bear:

Also, this bear is bare.

2. Dear/Deer

When your dearest dares to sneak a kiss:

I find it quite endearing, but this deer isn't having any from his darling.

3. Band/Banned

When you find out that your favorite band has been banned, but you've already got tickets to the show:

That's a shame about your band. Without them, the show will be pretty bland.

4. Meet/Meat

When you meet a friend for dinner:

You never want to meat a friend for dinner. That's like having them for dinner when you plan on having them for dinner...

5. Bury/Berry

When you want to bury that annoying person at work, but murder is illegal, so you do the next best thing:

Oh! You've berried him! With a berry pie! Bonus points if his name was Barry. Pie five!

6. Tail/Tale

When you settle to share a long tale, but suddenly, you're not so sure:

How awkward. Perhaps you should take your tail elsewhere.

7. Ball/Bawl

When the prince won't dance with you at the ball:

Cheer up - there's no need to bawl! I hear he's not even good at sports.

8. Vain/Vein/Vane

When you go to the vein doctor, but he's actually a vain doctor:

Yikes! It looks like he's paying more attention to his reflection than he is to your problems. He's so rude that it doesn't even matter whether he's a vein doctor or a vain doctor. You'd get just as much help from a weather vane doctor!

9. Sew/Sow/So

When you sew yourself a sunny satchel so you can better sow your seeds:

It doesn't matter that your garden only turned out so-so; at least you got that satchel out of it.

10. Rain/Rein/Reign

When it's raining, so you have to rein in your enthusiasm:

It doesn't matter if you reign over a whole country, the rain falls on the just and unjust alike.

11. Pique/Peek/Peak

When something piques your interest, so you try to catch a sneak peek:

Uh-oh! Perhaps you shouldn't have peeked at the peak. It looks a little steamed...

Did I cover your favorite homonym? Which ones have given you trouble in the past? Let me know in the comments! Until next time, ciao!

(I couldn't help myself, but you can help yourself to one last homonym pun. Chow down, even!)

Cover Image Credit: Conceptually

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37 Drake Lyrics From 'Scorpion' That Will Make Your Next Instagram Caption Go Double Platinum

Side A makes you want to be single, Side B make you want to be boo'd up.


We all knew Scorpion was going to be the summer banger we wanted. However, Drake surprised us with two sides of an album and two sides of himself. Mixing rap and R&B; was genius on his part, so why not dedicate 37 of his lyrics to our Instagram captions?

1. "Don't tell me how knew it would be like this all along" — Emotionless

Definitely a "I'm too good" for you vibe.

2. "My mentions are jokes, but they never give me the facts" — Talk Up

This one's for my haters.

3. "I wanna thank God for workin' way harder than Satan" — Elevate

For when you're feeling blessed.

4. "I promise if I'm not dead then I'm dedicated" — March 14

In Drake's story about his son the world knows about now, we get a lyric of true love and dedication

5. "My Mount Rushmore is me with four different expressions" — Survival

6. "Pinky ring 'til I get a wedding ring" — Nonstop

7. "I gotta breathe in real deep when I catch an attitude" — 8 Out of 10

This first line of the song is about to be spread on the gram like a wildfire

8. "Heard all of the talkin', now it's quiet, now it's shush" — Mob Ties

9. "California girls sweeter than pieces of candy" — Sandra's Rose

This is gonna have every girl who has ever stayed in Cali all hot and heavy, watch it.

10. "I think you're changing your mind, starting to see it in your eyes" — Summer Games

Y'all know how these summer games go

11. "Look the new me is really still the real me" — In My Feelings

When you've got to profess that you've changed 200%

12. "Only beggin' that I do is me beggin' your pardon" — Is There More

13. "Shifted your focus, lens lookin' jaded" — Jaded

14. "Back and forth to Italy, my comment section killin' me" — Can't Take a Joke

Necessary for when you've got people hyping you up already

15. "People are only as tough as they phone allows them to be" — Peak

Y'all can't have this one, I'm stealing it

16. "Work all winter, shine all summer" — That's How You Feel

Put in the work so you can flex on 'em, summer 18

17. "Blue faces, I got blue diamonds, blue tint, yeah" — Blue Tint

18. "I stay busy workin' on me" — Elevate

19. "Ten of us, we movin' as one" — Talk Up

The perfect reason to get the largest group picture you've had on your gram

20. "October baby for irony sake, of course" — March 14

This statistically applies to 1/12 of y'all reading this, so take that as you will (we October babies are the best)

21. "She had an attitude in the summer but now she nice again" — Blue Tint

22. "I know you special girl 'cause I know too many" — In My Feelings

23. "Gotta hit the club like you hit them, hit them, hit them angles" — Nice for What

24. "She said 'Do you love me?' I tell her, 'Only partly,' I only love my ____ and my ____ I'm sorry" — God's Plan

If you haven't used this one yet, get to it

25. "But I'm blessed I just checked, hate me never met me in the flesh" — I'm Upset

26. "It's only good in my city because I said so" — 8 Out of 10

Follow this up with a location and shoutout your hometown

27. "My haters either on they way to work or they arrived" — Can't Take a Joke

28. "I always need a glass of wine by sundown" — Final Fantasy

Has Drake ever been more relatable?

29. "It's your f***in' birthday. Happy birthday" — Ratchet Happy Birthday

Let's go get kicked out of an Applebee's

30. "I move through London with the Eurostep" — Nonstop

31. "I stopped askin' myself and I started feelin' myself" — Survival

Mood all summer 18

32. "They keep tryna' get me for my soul" — I'm Upset

33. "I'm tryna see who's there on the other end of the shade" — Emotionless

34. "Only obligation is to tell it straight" — Elevate

35. "It don't matter to me what you say" — Don't Matter to Me

This line from the King of Pop (MJ) will give you chills. R.I.P.

36. "I'm the chosen one, flowers never pick themselves" — Sandra's Rose

37. "Say you'll never ever leave from beside me" — In My Feelings

Couple goals, amirite?

Cover Image Credit:

@champagnepapi / Instagram

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19 Struggles Every Retail Worker Faces

Because if things were easy then you wouldn't have any stories to share.


At first, working in retail sounded so nice. Standing around folding clothes, talking to people, and getting paid. Sounds easy right...wrong. Here are just a few of the many struggles that retail workers face on the daily just to make their paycheck.

1. Screaming children


So let me get this straight. Tommy is allowed to start screaming in the middle of the store because he wants to go home but I'm not. Unfair.

2. Shoplifters


After working in retail for a bit, you get pretty good at reading body language. Nothing like getting to call security on a 13-year-old.

3. When the register freezes


4. One word: Inventory


Nothing like spending you're entire day counting out every single item in your store, right? The best is when you get distracted and loose your place.

5. When your coworker doesn't show up

Nothing like 10 people wanting your attention at once.

6. "Can I speak to your manager?"


Yes. let me bring them over here so they can tell you the exact same thing i just told you. The best is when someone asks you this and you are the manager.

7. Using change


Yes, please give me $20 worth of change that I can count out. Don't worry about the line, i'm sure they won't mind the wait.

8. Trying to bargain over prices


This isn't a negotiation. Either pay the price listed, or leave.

9. People leaving a mess

Nothing is better then watching someone completely mess up an area that you just spent the last 30 minutes cleaning.

10. Customers who come in 5 minutes before close


11. The boredom of a slow day


12. And the rush of a sale day


13. Overly-chatty customers


14. Asking about rewards cards


I get it. It's annoying and you probably don't have or want the card. We don't want to say it just as much as you don't want to hear it.

15. Checking the back


People tend to think that the back of the store is some huge endless supply of everything we have in the store. Nope.

16. Customers who try to come inside when the store is closed


Do you not see the sign?

17. Working long shifts with no breaks


18. Working. Every. Single. Weekend.


Because what's a social life anyway?

19. Waiting for someone to bring you change


As bad as things get, though, the store discounts make it all worth it!

Cover Image Credit:

Photo by Hannah Morgan on Unsplash

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