Hilarious Homonyms

Hilarious Homonyms

And wear to fined them...
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If you're a writer, an editor or even a reader, you've probably run across sets of words that make no sense. Some words sound the same (and maybe even look the same), yet their meanings are completely different. What gives?

English is a funny enough language without words masquerading around, pretending to be something they're not. The type of sneaky word I'm talking about is referred to as a homonym, which is defined as a word pronounced the same as another but differing in meaning, whether spelled the same way or not. Many people dislike homonyms, but I find them quite hilarious, at times. After years of writing and editing, I have grown quite fond of them. They have their own special sense of humor when they show up in a scene, unexpected and unannounced, and so, in their honor, let me share with you some of my favorite (and sometimes, most embarrassing) homonyms:

1. Bear/Bare

When you've barely started to bare your feelings, but it's already too much to bear:

Also, this bear is bare.

2. Dear/Deer

When your dearest dares to sneak a kiss:

I find it quite endearing, but this deer isn't having any from his darling.

3. Band/Banned

When you find out that your favorite band has been banned, but you've already got tickets to the show:

That's a shame about your band. Without them, the show will be pretty bland.

4. Meet/Meat

When you meet a friend for dinner:

You never want to meat a friend for dinner. That's like having them for dinner when you plan on having them for dinner...

5. Bury/Berry

When you want to bury that annoying person at work, but murder is illegal, so you do the next best thing:

Oh! You've berried him! With a berry pie! Bonus points if his name was Barry. Pie five!

6. Tail/Tale

When you settle to share a long tale, but suddenly, you're not so sure:

How awkward. Perhaps you should take your tail elsewhere.

7. Ball/Bawl

When the prince won't dance with you at the ball:

Cheer up - there's no need to bawl! I hear he's not even good at sports.

8. Vain/Vein/Vane

When you go to the vein doctor, but he's actually a vain doctor:

Yikes! It looks like he's paying more attention to his reflection than he is to your problems. He's so rude that it doesn't even matter whether he's a vein doctor or a vain doctor. You'd get just as much help from a weather vane doctor!

9. Sew/Sow/So

When you sew yourself a sunny satchel so you can better sow your seeds:

It doesn't matter that your garden only turned out so-so; at least you got that satchel out of it.

10. Rain/Rein/Reign

When it's raining, so you have to rein in your enthusiasm:

It doesn't matter if you reign over a whole country, the rain falls on the just and unjust alike.

11. Pique/Peek/Peak

When something piques your interest, so you try to catch a sneak peek:

Uh-oh! Perhaps you shouldn't have peeked at the peak. It looks a little steamed...

Did I cover your favorite homonym? Which ones have given you trouble in the past? Let me know in the comments! Until next time, ciao!

(I couldn't help myself, but you can help yourself to one last homonym pun. Chow down, even!)


Cover Image Credit: Conceptually

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Dear Shondaland, You Made A Mistake Because April Kepner Deserves Better

"April Kepner... you're not average"
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I'll admit from the first time we were introduced to April in Season 6, I didn't like her so much. I mean we hated the "Mercy Westers" in the first place, so how could we see the potential in the annoying, know-it-all resident that was trying to compete with our beloved Lexie Grey.

But then, we saw her come face-to-face with a killer and thought maybe she had potential.


We then saw her surprise everyone when she proved to be the next trauma surgeon in the making and we were intrigued.

Notice how none of these stories had anything to do with Jackson Avery. Not that we didn't love her with Jackson, but for whatever reason you've chosen to end their very popular relationship. Suddenly, you think that April is not worth further exploration but you've forgotten one simple thing. We fell in love with her before "Japril" was ever in the picture.

We love her because her story was unlike the others and she had one of the best character developments on the show. She wasn't damaged like Meredith Grey or Alex Karev who have been on their journey to become all whole and healed, but she still had to fight hard to be taken seriously. Her story has so much potential for future development, but you've decided to throw it all away for "creative reasons."

I'm sorry, but there's nothing creative about doing the exact same thing you've done to all the other characters who have left the show. We've endured the loss of many beloved characters when you chose to write off George, Henry, Mark, and Lexie. We even took it when you did the unthinkable and wrote McDreamy out of the show - killing off one half of the leading couple. (WHO DOES THAT???)

But April Kepner? Are you kidding me?

She may no longer be with Jackson, but she was so much more than half of Japril. While most of us hate that Jackson and April are over, we probably could have dealt with it if April was still on the show. Now they're done and you think there aren't any more stories to tell about her character. Why? Because she'll just get in the way of Jackson and Maggie?

How could you not see that she was way more than Jackson's love interest?

She's so much more than you imagined her to be. April is the headstrong, talented trauma surgeon no one saw coming. The farmer's daughter started off an ugly duckling who became a soldier because she needed to be one and turned into one big beautiful swan who constantly has to fight for her coworkers and family to see her as such.

She's proven to be a soldier and swan on many occasions. Just take giving birth to her daughter in a storm on a kitchen table during an emergency c-section without any numbing or pain medication as an example. If she wasn't a soldier or a swan before, how could she not be after that?

Yet, you - the ones who created her - still see her as the ugly duckling of a character because she always had to take the backseat to everyone else's story and was never allowed to really be seen.

But we see her.

She's the youngest of her sisters who still think of her as the embarrassing little Ducky no matter how much she's grown.

This swan of a resident got fired for one mistake but came back fighting to prove she belongs. Not only did April Kepner belong there, but it was her talent, her kindness, her strength that made her Chief Resident. This simply wasn't enough for Dr. Bailey or her other residents so she fought harder.

She endured the pressure but always ended up being a joke to the others. When she was fired yet again, your girl came back a little shaken. She doubted herself, but how could she not when everyone was against her.

Despite everyone telling her she couldn't, she did rise and no one saw her coming because she remained in the background. She went off to Jordan broken and came back a pretty risky trauma surgeon.

We've watched for years as she was handed promising stories that we never got to see fully develop because she was in the background. We never got to see her rise. We get the beginning and the end, but hardly ever the middle.

I thought we were finally going to have an amazing story arc in season 11 when she loses Samuel, but what did we really get? Two or three episodes of her coming to terms with the loss of her baby and then April's disappearance from the show while she's grieving off screen so that Dr. Amelia Shepherd can shine her first season on the show. Where is April's life-changing surgeries? What does April get? She's background music.

Now what?

It's season 14 and we finally get the story we've been waiting 9 years for! We get Dark April and her crisis of faith. A story arc all Christians can appreciate. Here's the chance for real character development in the foreground, but wait...

Before her story is even wrapped up, you announce that this season will be her last. So we're forced to realize that the only reason we're getting this story now is that you're writing her off.

No matter how you end it, it's not going to do her story justice. If you kill her off to end her crisis of faith story, you're not reaching the many Christians who watch the show. If you have her leaving Seattle and taking Harriet with her, you didn't know April. If you have her leaving Seattle and abandoning Harriet, you really didn't know April. So anyway you choose to end her story, you lost out on one great character.

You messed up.

Both April Kepner and Sarah Drew deserved better.

Cover Image Credit: YouTube

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Leonhard Euler Was Smarter Than You

A short biography on the smartest man you've never heard of.
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To those of you who have taken Calculus, let me say a few words that are sure to send chills down your spine: Euler's Method!


OH GOD!

Remember that? You had to approximate the derivative, and then approximate it again, and again, and again, and again, and again...

You get the point! What kind of maniac would invent something like that? Until last week, I was sure that he must've been some kind of psychopath, wrapped in a straitjacket, only allowed to be free when he was asked to do math.

But much to my surprise, I was completely wrong! After learning about some of the smartest men in the history of mankind in my History of Calculus class (I'm not as boring as you think, I promise) we finally got to the man at the forefront of every Calculus 1 student's nightmare, Leonhard Euler.

Not only is he not a maniac, but he is also much smarter and way more dedicated than you and I can ever hope to be.


Euler was born in 1707 and began attending the University of Basel in Switzerland in 1720, where he initially planned on studying theology. You read that right: while you and I were busy picking our noses and playing with tamagotchis, Leonhard Euler was already in college. And you may be thinking: well yeah, but he was studying theology, so big whoop.

And that's exactly what I thought too! (No offense to you aspiring priests and nuns. Please forgive me.)

Upon getting at Basel, however, Euler decided to switch his focus from theology to mathematics, and ultimately changed the course of history.

He graduated with his MA from Basel in 1723 (for those of you keeping track, that's a BA and an MA in three years) and started on writing what would ultimately amount to 900 books on mathematics. He shed light on some of the most important concepts in mathematics like the natural logarithm, the taking of derivatives, and I'll stop now before you fall asleep.


The math isn't important (well, it is, but bear with me). What is important that is that in 1738 he went blind in one eye due to a fever (mull that over, anti-vaxxers), yet he continued to produce mathematical proofs at a prolific rate.

But then, in 1766, he went completely blind, and...

HE KEPT DOING MATH! IN HIS HEAD! But how, you might ask, was able to write it down?

He would dictate to anybody who would listen, and they would write it down. His children. His grandchildren. His friends.

He even made sure that his servants were fluent in Latin so that he could dictate to them as well. Do you know how hard it was to find a servant who knew Latin in the 18th century?

About as hard as it is to find anybody who knows Latin today.

Have you ever done anything remotely as impressive as all of that? Have you ever been that dedicated to anything in your life? No?

Me neither!

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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