August. The time of year when bright-eyed, freshly graduated high school seniors attempt to cram their entire room into the back of the family minivan and begin the drive to the far off land they’ve heard so much about: college. It’s an emotional time. For those of you out there preparing to embark on this journey, I’m sure you’ve already gotten your share of pre-college advice. Say yes to every opportunity that comes your way. But don’t overextend yourself. Eat healthy; make friends; go to class.

I’ll tell you a secret. Even with all that incredibly helpful advice, you’ll still have to fumble your way through the first few months, and that’s okay. We all do it, and eventually you get the hang of it. Some of the advice is helpful; some isn’t, and what falls into each of those categories can be different for everyone.

College is great, and I think most people would agree that they’re ready to move on from high school. While high school was far from the best four years of my life, I did get lucky enough to make some pretty amazing friendships while I was trying to survive pre-calc.

High school friendships are often stereotyped as shallow and fleeting, but that wasn’t the case for me. I remember going off to college, terrified that things would never be the same. They weren’t. It’s inevitable that things will change. That doesn’t have to be a bad thing-- you’ll make amazing friendships in college, but that doesn’t mean you have to leave your high school friends behind.

For those of you lucky enough to have real, solid high school friendships, here’s a little advice on how to maintain those when you go away to college.

• Don’t be afraid of letting those friendships change. It will happen, but it’s natural for friendships to evolve. Even if you could stay in high school forever your friendships would still look different after a few years.
• Don’t skip out on hanging out with new friends just to Skype old ones. It’s natural to feel more comfortable in your room talking to people you’ve known for ages instead of awkwardly trying to make new friends, but putting yourself out there is necessary and part of the college experience. Your high school friends should be doing the same thing. At the end of the night you can always come back and call them to gripe about how exhausting it was.
• Don’t get jealous about the new friends your high school friends have made in college. It might sting a little when you see that first Instagram post featuring their new “best friend,” but try to be happy for them and remember that your place isn’t being usurped. We’re not in second grade anymore, there’s room for more than one best friend.
• Remember that everyone makes friends at different paces and that it takes some people longer to get settled and find their place than it does for others. If you’re the person who takes two years to decide that yes, you could in fact classify this person as a “friend,” don’t be upset if your high school friends have moved a little faster than you. Be happy that they’ve hit their stride, even if it means they’re not sitting alone in their room every night waiting for you to call. You’ll get there eventually. And if you’re the person who immediately felt at home at college and met your eight future bridesmaids at orientation, congratulations! You’re one of the few, and try to remember to touch base with the people who are still counting on you for support.
• Make a point to see them when you can. Even if it’s only during school breaks-- when you’re home, make plans. Do whatever it was you used to do in high school and catch up on each other’s lives.
• Don’t be surprised when they grow in ways you don’t expect. We all do it, and when first getting to college many people change a lot. Remember that even if she’s a little more outgoing or adventurous than she used to be, the girl who sat in the back of your history classroom passing notes in tenth grade is still there, right alongside this new hiking enthusiast you’re just getting to know. You’ll change as well, but having someone there to remind you of who you are at your core, when you’ve forgotten and everything else feels like it’s up in the air, is invaluable.
• If it’s possible, visit them at college. Meet their new friends—maybe you’ll become friends with some of them too. Some of my favorite college experiences have been when my college friends and high school friends have collided. It might be a little nerve-wracking at first, not knowing if they’ll get along, but they both love you, so why shouldn’t they?
• Accept that your lives might go in different directions. Maybe they’re on the east coast while you’re on the west. Maybe they’re studying in South America and you never want to leave your hometown. Maybe they decide they want to become a nomad and never have a home address, much less that picket-fenced home across the street from yours that you’d planned on all those years. One of the reasons high school friends often lose touch is that in high school, no one really knows what they want. When it starts becoming clearer throughout college, it can seem too difficult to overcome the differences that grow more apparent. But having friends who know you so deeply, know a different you than anyone you met in college could ever know, is an amazing asset throughout life. Sure, your college friends will know all your stories and will have seen all your pictures. They’ll laugh with you about embarrassing haircuts from your youth—but they weren’t the ones to actually cut your hair that humid July night at the lake.

So send them a random text if you’re thinking of them. Answer that call when they’re lonely, even if you’re swamped with studying. Send them hand-written letters. Ship a box of cookies and gummy bears to them when they go through a break up, and be a figurative shoulder to cry on when you aren’t there to be a literal one. Make a point to see them when you can. Even if it’s only during school breaks-- when you’re home, make plans. Do whatever it was you used to do in high school and catch up on each other’s lives. If you happen to be passing through the city where they go to school, stop by for a minute, even if it’s only to say hi and you’re already running late. Create a tradition that you can continue even throughout college (for me that’s our annual pumpkin carving during fall break). Support them as they grow and start living dreams they hadn’t even begun to dream in high school. Love them through their mistakes and forgive them when they’re too busy to talk, because it will happen eventually. Friends who can remind you of who you are when you forget are rare and should be cherished.