High heels are the cutest shoes, but most of the time they are the most painful shoes of all. I recently went to the Career Fair, and I had to wear high heels because I'm too short and my dress pants do not look as professional in flats. It was such a fierce ensemble, but I was in so much pain by the end of it. I had to walk all around campus in those shoes because there was no close parking and the bottom of my pants would have been destroyed if I were wearing flats. It was an interesting experience, to say the least. I had a lot of time and distance to realize that there are so many things that run through a girl's, or a guy's (depending on your preferences) mind when she (or he) puts on those heels:
1. Dayummm, I look hot!
The evil gift of heels have been boosting self-esteem since their creation. They help you stand taller, feel more confident, and create the illusion of a firmer butt and longer, leaner legs. I don't know about you, but these things hurt, so I better look sexy as hell or I'm not wearing them. I get excited to put on my heels and look in the mirror because they usually make any outfit a million times better. They are pure magic in the fashion world.
2. My feet would be screaming right now if they could talk right now.
It's no secret that heels hurt, and they aren't exactly good for you, either. I swear that old saying "beauty is pain" had to be made for these. You could be wearing the most comfortable heels in the world, but your feet will still hurt after long wears. I always have at least four blisters when taking them off. That's not natural for our feet to be like that, and it actually can cause a lot of health issues. I'm still wearing them, though, because like I said earlier, I look hot!
3. Why can't I be taller?
If I were taller, I could wear flats and not look like a child wearing a suit that is too big for her. I don't normally like to wish for things that I can really never have, but when the pain sets in while wearing heels, I really want to be taller and not need them to look great. I like to tell myself that God only lets things grow until they are perfect, and I just didn't take as long. Let's be honest, that's probably not true. If you are taller, this doesn't really apply to you—congrats, you lucky duck! You can be comfortable and sexy all at the same time. You go out and rock those flats with pride and know that short girls everywhere are envious of you.
4. Don't trip, don't trip...Ow!
When I walk in heels, I always have to tell myself not to trip or fall and hurt myself. I don't drink, and I have to do that, so I don't know how girls do it after leaving the bars. I would probably break myself if I were to do that. I always seem to roll my ankle on crooked pavement because my heels like to get caught in little divots and tilt sideways when walking. Gorgeous little devils, I tell you. It's so easy to biff it when your heels are three inches off the ground. When I'm in crowds with my friends, I like to hold on to them to keep me safe while I walk. Safety in numbers now has another meaning.
5. I feel like I can conquer the world!
This is probably why I continue to love high heels. That little clicking noise I hear when my heels hit the ground help with this feeling. In the words of my Big, I feel like a "boss a** b*tch" when I wear some awesome heels. Marilyn Monroe once said, "Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world," and I completely agree. They have to be just the right height, though, because I start to walk like a baby giraffe the higher my heels get.
This is just a few thoughts that one has when wearing these pieces of dark magic. I know some people that actually love wearing heels all the time, and I have no idea how they do it. I wish I could be like that and look hot all the time, but I guess my shortness has made me love being close to the ground. They are so worth the pain, though, with the good feelings they create.
