So I’m in therapy, and have been in therapy for a few months now. I get a little too stressed out to handle, and I have some depressive tendencies that I haven’t quite been able to conquer yet, so I’m in therapy.

And since I have been in therapy, I go to meetings and talk about things and stuff and all that jazz. And sometimes my friends will ask me to go do something with them at a time that interferes with my sessions. So I usually just tell people “sorry, I can’t go, I have therapy.” The reactions I get when people find out throw me off, though. Sometimes it seems like they are surprised to hear it. I’m not sure if they are surprised by the fact that I go to counseling or surprised by me being open about the fact that I go.

And some of my friends have said they were surprised that I just came out and said it, like it was something I wanted to hide. While I know they don’t mean any harm, it sometimes bothers me when I hear that. Wanting to hide the fact I’m in therapy makes it seem like I’m ashamed to go, when I’m not. So when people tell me they thought I would want to keep that private, I can’t tell if they are now judging me or think of me differently because they now know that I’m talking to someone about my problems.

This just makes it seem like I’m doing something wrong, when I’m not. There’s nothing wrong or to be ashamed of when it comes to any helpful form of counseling. And going to therapy doesn’t make me a freak, or suicidal, or any extremes that people usually think about when they hear someone is in therapy.

Sometimes, I just really need to talk to someone. I know that I have friends that will listen if needed, but sometimes if a topic has already been talked about enough, I don’t like to bring it back up with them again. In these cases, I tell my therapist. Same thing goes if I feel like my friends may not understand my perspective. Not saying they can’t have different opinion than me, but more so if they can’t respect that I have a different opinion than them.

Sometimes, I don’t know why I have a problem with something. My therapist is not a “lay on the couch and tell me everything” counselor. She asks me how I’m doing, if anything exciting has happened in the last week or so, how the newspaper is. Normal conversation. So sometimes I will bring up that I’ve been in a pissy mood all week, and no it’s not my period, and I don’t know why everything is bothering me.

Sometimes, I just need recommendations. I will know that I have a problem, and I will try a way to fix it that I have seen helps other people. But if that way doesn’t work for me, I’ll ask her if she can think of other things to try.

I started counseling because I’ve dealt with my own stress and tendencies for a while. They just started getting worse last April. Everything went downhill, and I was tired of trying to fix everything or be okay with everything when I wasn’t. I have stayed in counseling because I don’t need to always be okay with everything, I just need to be able to handle everything in a healthy way. That’s what I’m trying to do.

So yes, I am in therapy. And I’m open about that fact. No, I’m not going to tell people what I talk about every session. I’m not going to say that therapy is the answer for anyone with problems. But it helps me, and I’m not ashamed of that at all.