Beware! It is cuffing season and this is when people from your past start playing their sly games. This is when you get those random messages from numbers you no longer have. You know the ones, the ones who use the holidays as an excuse to text you. All the sleazeballs are coming out of the cracks to send you that "Hey Stranger text. Come on, we all know one of those people. Hey, we may even be one of those people. I'll admit it, I sent one on Thanksgiving. I have no shame in my game. It happens every year and never fails to amuse me and my friends. Here's a little bit behind the reasoning of the holiday mystery texts.

The past haunts you because it sees how amazing you are with every passing day. The past haunts you because it sees how happy you are. Can you blame them? No, because you're a perfect dime! Do you know why exes call you up every now and again? It’s because they can’t let go and they keep thinking of you. They think about you so much that it becomes an issue. They think about you at 8 a.m. when they wake up and don’t see you there. They think about you at noon when they used to call during your lunch break. They think about you at 6 p.m. when they used to see if you wanted to catch a movie. They think about you at 11 p.m. when they are laying down to sleep. If you are experiencing any of these, try to figure out if you miss the person, the idea of the person or are just lonely.

However, the truth is they miss you at 8 a.m. because they’re still waking up. They miss you at noon because it became a part of the routine and adjusting to a new routine is difficult. They miss you at 6 p.m. because they are bored and have nothing to do. They have no one else to call. They miss you at 11 p.m. because you were a warm body. Nothing more, nothing less. It's cuffing season, they just want that warm body back. Don't read too much into it.

As the "Hey Stranger" texts start rolling in, here are a few of my personal favorite responses:

"New phone, who dis?"

"Oh hey *random name*. Are you ready to meet my parents? They've been looking forward to this for a few months and hearing all about your career as a pediatric surgeon." [Admit it, you can't get a better person who performs surgery on kids. It tugs at the heartstrings. You can only be heartless when you're replying to these texts.]

"Unsubscribe."

"Expired *insert date*"

Feel free to use any of my responses and feel free to tone down or enhance the savagery. Also, remember to screenshot it or it didn't happen! Now share those screenshots with all your friends to share the chuckles.