"Hey! I'm Your Roommate!"

"Hey! I'm Your Roommate!"

From forced small talk to endless laughs.

To my roommate, after our first semester:

Things started off awkwardly, to say the least. This whole roommate thing started because I waited too long to work out my housing and chose the only open room in the building, which happened to be yours. I messaged you on Instagram and said, "Hey! I'm your roommate!" We immediately clicked and texted for the next few months approaching move-in. Even so, we didn't know each other very well, so it was bound to be awkward.

Our first few weeks as roommates were easily the most awkward weeks I've ever experienced. There were hours of silence and forced small talk, trying to get to know each other, and it being totally unsuccessful. You'd go out to do your things, and I'd go to do mine. We were the furthest thing from friends; if anything, we were complete strangers. Luckily, that changed.

I'm not sure what caused the change, but I do know that it was one of the things that I'm most thankful for. After all those hours of sitting across the room without speaking a word, we're best buds now. I mean, come on, we even have our own nicknames. Our whole floor refers to us as "Big Hoss & Lil Hoss". We spend our weekends together, whether that means being at frats or just in our room watching Netflix. We're always having a good time.

We get breakfast, lunch, and dinner together. We even know what the other drinks depending on which meal we're having. Remember when we would go and eat separately? Needless to say, we spend almost all of our free time together. That's honestly something I never would've seen coming if you'd have asked me at move-in.

Thank you for listening to all of my stories about my friends from home (all of which I know you really don't care about, but you pretend to listen anyway). Thank you for listening to me complain about the really annoying kid in my Psych 101 class. Thank you for going out with me. Thank you for our Thursdays at Annex, then bouncing back for Phi Sig on Friday nights.

You are, by far, the funniest person I've ever met (partially because sometimes you're just clueless, but also because you're just hysterical). Thank you for always making me laugh. Thank you for getting me food this semester when I was too sick to do it myself. And thank you for always keeping your side of the room clean. But, more than anything, thank you for being you and being the best roommate I could ever imagine.

Love,

Big Hoss (Kaylin)


Cover Image Credit: Kaylin Dougan

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The Painful Beauty Of Being Alone

Me, Myself, and I got your back.

According to research, humans need interaction with other humans even if the desire isn’t always there. The need for companionship is engrained in our collective DNA and the pain that comes from feeling lonely is a hard proof. However, there are the lucky few who constantly find themselves dealing with the pains of hunger for a companion for almost every friend they have made had never been genuine, and the one friend they’ve got is loneliness.

Believe it or not, that’s a blessing more than a curse.

Throughout my short twenty-four laps around the sun, I’ve seen friends come and go like dirty underwear stains washing away in the washing machine. As I got older, I wanted so much to not be lonely that I lowered my standards of self-respect at the hands of people who were merely fillers in the space. My years of hell were my last two years of college and one year abroad in which I had become codependent on the idealization of having someone to be there for me because the sounds of silence in my apartment made me mad. However, I am ten times stronger for I have learnt to be my own hero when people had then and still now let me down.

Through being lonely, my inner voice became my flashlight in the darkest of tunnels. If my eyes are cameras then loneliness has donated me filters to see through an altered reality we all live in. My hunger pains had become the cement paving a stronger ground for my fragile feet to trail upon. And you want to know exactly why and how? Because at the end of the day, you are the one who has to live with yourself and that harsh pill to swallow becomes a soluble tablet since you’re so used to taking it down dry all of your life.

So I will continue to accept my loneliness and even more so dance with it. I will grab it by the balls and make it my bitch. When another friend or lover comes and then fades away so quick, I already know who to call on speed dial and that’s one is the one who never hits it and quits. To whoever feels the same, I hope this article helped you to realize that you can stand on you’re own two feet, and that you are ten times stronger than you feel.

Cover Image Credit: Benjaminrobyn Jespersen

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8 Signs That 'Friend' Is Bad And It's Time To Cut Them Loose

When they show you their true colors, believe them.

Recently, I've had to cut ties with a long-term friend. We were close for years and although it felt like we had a great relationship, when she showed me her true colors, I believed her and realized she wasn’t worth my time anymore. Saying goodbye to anyone is never easy, especially a friend you've been close to for so long... someone you truly valued.

One of the hardest things to do is to cut ties with someone you love so much, but that you know doesn't benefit you or your life. It’s especially hard when you think they’re capable of changing, or when you question that maybe it’s not as bad as you think, or you’re just overreacting.

Even though it may be hard at the time and for some time after, cutting ties with a bad friend will strengthen you and your life in the long run, because you’re choosing to stick up for yourself and disassociate yourself from the negativity in your life.

Here are seven sure signs that it's time to cut ties with a bad friend:

1. You feel like you're giving your all, and they've given nothing.

When you're the one making the plans, sending all of the texts and keeping up the friendship, this is a sure time that it's time to cut ties with him or her. No one wants to feel like they give their all and get nothing in return. Choose to not be friends with people like this because every relationship should have an equal amount of give and take, and when it doesn’t, they aren’t a true friend anyway.

2. You can't ask for their advice or help.

When you don't feel comfortable asking for their advice with something in your life, they aren't there for you and they never listen to you, you can be sure that this will most likely not change. Everyone deserves to have friends that they can go to for advice or just someone who will listen when you need them. When a friend does not provide this, you can consider them a bad friend, because after all, being there for someone is one of the key parts of being in a friendship.

3. They never ask you how that interview went, or how that first day of your new job was.

When they never care to ask you how the major events were in your life that you had mentioned, why would you want to be friends with them? You deserve friends who are always going to wish you good luck, support you, and show that they care through asking how things are going, and keeping up with your life and things that are important to you. This is a large part of a good friendship that bad friends don’t do. Consider cutting ties.

4. They don't have good conversations with you unless they're centered around them.

When the conversations you two have are constantly centered around them and their life, you can bet that this won't change either. Someone who is self-centered is not a good friend. Choose to distance yourself from people like this and find friends who care about you and your life too.

5. You feel like you have to change yourself when they're around because they don't accept you.

If they constantly judge you for the decisions you make, the things happening in your life or anything else about your character, this is a sure sign that you should cut ties. Being friends with people who don't support you or accept who you are are not worth your time. Friends like this only make us feel bad about ourselves, stress us out and make us feel like we have to change. Being a friend to someone means you accept them completely, without trying to change them, and you should never feel like you can't be yourself around someone you consider a friend. Cut ties and find better friends.

6. You've thought about it for a while.

If you've thought multiple times about cutting ties with this friend because issues keep arising, it may be time to pull the plug. Waiting around and letting yourself keep suffering through an unhealthy friendship will do no good. And trust me, if they've been like this for awhile, they will stay like this. Don't rely on the hope of them changing because they won't.

7. You've talked to them about it before, and they don't listen or understand.

If you've talked about the concerns that upset you and they don't listen or understand you, you should definitely consider cutting ties. Being friends with someone who doesn't listen to you or care to empathize with your feelings is a sure sign of a bad friend. You deserve to be friends with someone who cares enough to address your concerns and strengthen your relationship through working to solve these problems. Consider cutting ties if this person does not hear you out.

8. They go through friend after friend.

When someone constantly has new friends and can’t keep old ones, you can assume that if you’re feeling like they aren’t a good friend to you, other people feel the same way too. Consider cutting ties with someone who can never seem to keep friends.

And to the friend I finally had to let go, thank you. Thank you for showing me your true colors, that I deserve better friends, and that my life is more positive without your negativity in it.

Cover Image Credit: 123rf

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