As many people know, Lady Gaga has a new album titled "Joanne", and one of the songs on that album is titled, "Hey Girl." It's a duet performed with Florence Welch from Florence + The Machine. The whole premise of the song is to empower women to stand with one another, lift each other up, and stop comparing each other.
The message is so powerful. I think it's something women need to say to each other every day and every opportunity we get, because it's important that we empower each other. There are three lines in the chorus of this song that I really love and find a lot of value in.
"Hey girl, we can make it easy if we lift each other."
One thing I see as a woman is this constant idea that women are supposed to tear each other down. Judge another woman for the way she does her hair, her makeup, the way she dresses, the way she speaks, acts, and dates. Everything. It's never ending. It is something I'm guilty of, one hundred percent. Even as I write this at my local coffee shop I could easily look around and judge another woman if I wanted to. It comes easy to us. It saddens me that these judgmental thoughts come so naturally. We already have men tearing women down and making lewd comments about the way women look or dress, we need to stop contributing to it because it makes it seem okay.
Rape culture is the epitome of this. Why is it that we tear down other women who are suffering? Blame them, victimize them, tear them apart. Why? Just cause you've never been through it? Because you don't understand it? These women already have the world against them. We need to stand together and lift each other up. Tell her you believe her. Tell her you hear her. Tell her you've got her. Stop silencing other women.
So what if we lifted each other instead. Stop tearing each other down for what we wear or look like or act. I get it. It's much easier said than done, but it starts with ourselves. If we learn to love ourselves more we could stop tearing other women down. Start looking within and figure out what you need to learn to love about yourself so that you stop tearing down others with your words.
"Hey girl, we don't need to keep on one-in up another."
Oh man. This line just screams comparison. I'm sure I'm not the only woman who compares herself to other women constantly. We live in a culture of comparison. But comparison is the thief of joy. Why are we robbing ourselves of happiness just because another girl has thicker hair than you do? And comparison goes far past looks and material things. As an RA I constantly catch myself comparing myself to other female RAs and how they are doing their jobs. She's had more one on ones with her residents, she has more girls come to events, she did this, she did that. She's better. I'm failing. Before you know it you're spiraling. Telling yourself lies because you are comparing yourself to someone else. Someone who is in a different stage of life than you are, someone who has a different story than you do.
For some reason we also do this with tragedy and struggle. If a woman is sharing her experiences, we try and one-up each other with something worse. Oh, you've been through that? Well, I've been through this. We need to stop discounting each other's experiences. Stop devaluing and invalidating each other's feelings. We as women don't need to be better than one another, we need to be better together. Strengthen the status quo of being a woman. We already have the odds stacked against and the rest of the world telling us we aren't good enough, trying to silence us, telling us we feel too much, let's stopping tearing ourselves down through comparison.
"Hey girl, if you lose your way, just know that I got you."
And finally, an empowering claim to remind other women that we are in this together. Let's own it. Let's lift each other. If you fall down, I've got your back. If you need someone to lift you up, I'm here. Know that I got you. This is what I want to tell other women. I get the amazing opportunity to volunteer with a women's ministry, Women Are, at Fellowship Monrovia and it is one of the most encouraging and empowering things I've ever experienced. Four hundred women get to come together to not only praise Jesus, but empower each other. Tell each other exactly this: Know that I got you. Women that are complete strangers loving each other and lifting each other up. I want to take the culture I see at Women Are and extend it. I'm tired of women tearing down other women. I'm tired of women silencing other women. Let's stop tearing each other down. Stop being scared to share how we feel or what we've been through. Stop invalidating each other or one up each other. Instead, let's tell other women we know, other women we've just met, other women who are complete strangers:
