What the heck is “bae”? Unfortunately, I’m not talking about the Bureau of Agricultural Economics or a Bachelor of Aeronautical Engineering. This bae is a relatively new and innovative terminology, an Instagram sensation, and a likely caption for a snap story of a boyfriend, girlfriend or burrito. How does this absurdity come about? Do people utilize it seriously or not? Who knows?
I used to think bae was a lazy way of saying “babe,” by deleting the second “b.” Typical modern Americans, am I right? According to the oh-so-reliable Urban Dictionary, bae is “an affectionate term used to address or refer to one’s girlfriend, boyfriend, etc.”
However, it was recently brought to my attention by my little sister (who I must address is in middle school) that bae is actually an acronym, meaning, “Before Anyone Else.” Mind boggler.
Should I be more concerned by the emergence of this ridiculous lingo or the fact that my little sister in middle schools knows more about it than I do? Before Anyone Else…? So…who comes after? Who “else” is in the picture to come second, third, fourth or twentieth?
To me, bae epitomizes the chronic deinstitutionalization of courtship — the deterioration of secure relationships, teaching us that it is okay to have “anyone else” on the side while committed. Nonetheless, this is not an unprecedented or abrupt occurrence. In fact, we have been experiencing this since the 1960s.
Prior to the sexual revolution in the late 60s, where birth control emerged, and the psychedelic revolution of the 70s that cultivated a new focus on expressive individualism, a relationship was solely for two. The male was the “woo-er” and the woman the “woo-ed.” Teenagers of the 50s are so iconic in that they represent the last generation of innocence before it was “lost,” as some say. Think malt shops, sock hops and emblematic figures perpetuated by the media in films such as Grease and Pleasantville.
Historically, the late 60s and 70s brought about drastic changes in American culture. In addition to the sexual and psychedelic revolutions, a wave of feminism blustered through, catalyzing women’s advancements in the workforce and promoting women’s independent earnings.
Additionally, President Reagan’s “No-Fault Divorce” tactic implemented in 1970 stimulated a high increase in divorce rates. This establishment allowed partners to separate without a cause, expediting and mitigating the divorce process. Subsequently, this development further bolstered the concept of personal freedom and happiness — if one was unhappy in a relationship, he or she could get out of it unscathed.
In this time period, cohabitation became more of a norm; two people could live together in a relationship without the strains of marriage. Legitimate commitment subtly became less of a concern. This time period fostered an era of expressive individualism, leading somewhat to where we are now.
So where are we now? I argue that we are currently experiencing a new transitional era in relationship culture. Bae represents the modern day hookup culture that exists, especially within college grounds — we hangout, we hookup, and we act indifferent (or pretend to). Dates are infrequent and infidelity is a norm. We are free from the chains of relationships and many of us are what we call “commitment phobes.” We meet people on Tinder, we text rather than endure social interaction, and we take a lot of what we know about relationships from the media: marketers, websites, dating services, and TV shows. We can visualize this by comparing the aforementioned moves Grease and Pleasantville to modern shows such as The Bachelor or Jersey Shore. We may have our main “bae,” but there are so many options to chose from! Why settle? We are reaping the benefits of an era of freedom and choice.
Personally, I can’t fully denounce this period of unrestraint in my day and age. I want to remain carefree and flexible in order to take up opportunities I’ve been given, to travel, and to set my own path before defining myself with anyone else. Maybe that’s how a lot of us feel too, because we are fortunate enough to have the opportunity, the freedom and the choice.
However, we also have to visualize the concerning impact of this culture we conform to on the impressionable youth. What is “bae” teaching to youngsters — even if we aren’t practicing it and just jokingly posting it on Instagram. And what could this lead to in the future? Today’s divorce rate is at 43 percent, with infidelity as the number one cause of divorce. If we continue at the rate we are going, what could happen in the next decade? Will there be another “lost” generation, or are we the “lost generation”?
The bottom line is that bae, whether used seriously or not, is teaching divergent and possibly detrimental values for institutional relationships. Although it is unlikely we will retreat to the times of sock hops and malt shops, it’s important to visualize the succession of change in breeding of relationships in past few decades and to look to the future at what is next. Maybe there is still hope for humanity, if we recognize this subtle effect concepts such as bae may have on all of us, and the direction we may be headed from a cultural stance on relationships.
Whether bae is your burrito, or your boyfriend, use wisely.
