We’ve all been through this, the infamous “mixed messages”, meeting someone whom you’ve felt that instant connection; you guys hang out a couple of times, text everyday, kiss etc. But then… BOOM! All of a sudden they disappear...

You’re left confused, and utterly perplexed.

“I thought he liked me. What’s happening?”

You’re in this horrible mind game, searching for signs, sending screenshots to your best friends, reading articles in Cosmo. Analyzing every period and comma, ugh the drag.

And that’s the thing… it took me 20 years of my life to finally understand this. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS MIXED MESSAGES. A guy either likes you or he doesn’t. He either only wants a one night stand (or several) or he wants to take you home to his mom. I know shocking isn’t it?

Here are some signs to look out for whenever you’re wondering how little your almost significant other is interested in you.

1. He stops texting you.

This one is self-explanatory. He’s either not responding at all, or taking “his time”. And when I say taking his time, I mean texting you back the next day or in 10 hours with a one word response. The worst part is that while you’ve probably been waiting for that phone to “DING!” He has 30 seconds on snapchat stories…

2. He’s only available when he’s bored.

Sadly, the indicated, has probably happened to me countless times with this one guy. I’d text him back and he’d reply when he’s home about to go to sleep. “Something about your voice snoozes me.” Not a great compliment thank you very much.

3. “I don’t do PDA.”

Meaning when we go out, I still want to seem available so I can hit on other girls, but you’re still mine ok?

4. He talks about how your friends are really “cute” too much.

I know they are, I get it, I’m cute too, but there is a limit. There comes a time where even Beyoncé will feel insecure if her boo keeps flattering her girlfriends nonstop.

5. It’s either his way or none.

You could be in the middle of a surgery but if you don’t drive to his place because he needs his guitar back, oh dear lord embrace yourself… (Ever heard of compromise a**hole? Or being dumped for being controlling?)

6. You don’t get many compliments from him.

Again, I know I’m gorgeous, you don’t need to tell me 24/7, but if I can’t remember the last time you said something nice to me, then you’re a douche.

7. It always ends up being physical.

There has not been one date or phone call where he doesn’t turn it into a sexual thing.

8. It’s all about him.

You may be talking for hours, even crying your eyes out, but ask him tomorrow what he thinks about your dog dying, he probably won’t remember. “Me me me.” His problems and his life and nothing more.