I hear so many girls talk about being “ghosted” or guys who are such jerks because they have been texting a girl or hanging out with her and then didn’t want to date her. Girl, people will tell you who they are and what they want with you. Listen.

Aside from the occasions when a guy really is flirting with you and telling you that he wants something to progress from your relationship with him when he really doesn't, most guys are pretty up front with their intentions.

For instance, if you only see a guy when you run into him at the bar and that is when he chooses to slur into your ear that he has such a big crush on you and tries to convince you to come home with him, but he never texts you to try to bring you on a date outside of that? Then he is telling you very clearly what his intentions are towards you. He is not a jerk or a f***boy. He is telling you what he is looking for. If you aren’t interested in what he is offering, then he isn’t the guy for you.

If there is a guy you hangout with frequently, and you send each other funny pictures or grab lunch together on occasion when you see each other on campus, then he mentions one day he is going on a date with this girl tonight. Oh my gosh, what a freaking jerk. No. Did he ever tell you or indicate to you that he was pursuing a relationship with you? No. You were friends. Attention is not affection. Everyone is guilty of this. He isn’t a jerk for telling you he likes someone else. He is very, very clearly telling you his intentions. He isn’t a jerk because your feelings are hurt.

Time and time again I hear stories of the guy who is upfront with you, he tells you that he doesn’t want a relationship. So girls get it into their head that he’s a challenge. He shows you a little attention still because he wants something else from you. I mean he straight up told you he doesn’t want a relationship and you are still spending time on him so he thinks you know the deal. Instead, you think that he is a challenge and somehow you can change him and you can be the one he fell for. Girl stop. He told you he doesn’t want a relationship and you are worth more than that. Stop chasing after guys who tell you that he doesn’t want a relationship and wait for someone who does. The right guy won't need convincing that you are worth a relationship.

You can’t change what a guy is after, and still preserve your self-esteem and integrity. If he is telling you he doesn’t want to be with you and he doesn’t want to give you what you are looking for, then he isn’t the one for you.

You are worth so much more than chasing after some boy who wants different things. Hold your head high and keep your self-esteem and standards high too. Don’t change yourself for a boy and don’t run yourself ragged and weary from chasing one either. The right man will come along and he will not need any convincing at all.