Millions of people have went to see Disney’s Moana since it opened the week of Thanksgiving, including me. The film is a masterpiece. The animation is breathtaking, the soundtrack is inspiring (Lin Manuel-Miranda!) and Moana herself is an amazing, dynamic character. Like many classic Disney characters before her, Moana wants more than what’s planned for her life. She goes on a journey and finds a way to make her family proud and be true to who she is. Unlike many classic Disney characters before her, Moana does not find love at the end of her story. This fact hasn’t gone unnoticed by fans and film critics alike, who praise Moana as being a “princess” who doesn’t need a man.

But the fact that she “doesn’t need a man” isn’t what makes her great. She’s brave and kind and thoughtful. She fights for her family and her village. She is true to herself. She is strong in every sense of the word.

And in my opinion, these are characteristics of many of the Disney princesses and heroines. Even the ones that end up “living happily ever after” with their prince.

Think about the way that Cinderella stays kind and good-hearted even when she is treated unfairly. Think about the way Jasmine stands up to her father and fights for her right to marry for love, not obligation. Think about the way that Ariel dreams of who and where she wants to be, long before she meets Prince Eric. Think about the way that Mulan saves China, for crying out loud. Are these characteristics and facts undermined because all of these women found love along the way?

I haven’t been single since I was seventeen. After breaking up with my first boyfriend, I met Spencer the next month and we jumped right in to a relationship. That was three and a half years ago. I instantly liked Spencer because he was easy to talk to, and it didn’t hurt that he was really cute. As I got to know him, I found that he is kind, funny, smart, open-minded and thoughtful. His family is important to him. He likes trying new things. He is driven and works hard. He and I have many of the same visions for our lives. We think about our future a lot, but we also enjoy where we are right now. Our relationship isn’t perfect, it isn’t a “fairy tale” but it’s ours. I don’t “need” him in my life, but I want him there. Spencer makes me happy, but my happiness doesn’t depend on him.

I’m independent and strong, and being with someone does not make me any less of a heroine of my own story.

So let’s stop praising Moana for “not needing a man” and praise her for her strength, her bravery, her quick wit. Let’s not forget the positive character traits in other fictional heroines simply because romantic love was a part of their stories. And let’s remember this sentiment while looking at our own lives and the lives of our friends, too. Your relationship status doesn’t define you, you are not deemed more or less worthy by your attachment to another person.

Strong women are amazing, and they are everywhere. They are allowed to be wives and girlfriends, and that title doesn’t make them any less strong or amazing.