With the end of the school year just around the corner, a lot of things in our lives are about to change and will change quickly. Whether you’re transitioning from being independent away at college to life back home with your family, graduating (with or without a job lined up), or going through a breakup, you’re sure to experience a flood of emotions. And although many of the changes we see around this time are positive (like finally getting that degree!), a lot of dread and fear of the unknown will inevitably occupy our thoughts.
A change strategist in the field of industrial-organizational psychology, William Bridges, presented a model to help explain why people often cringe at the idea of change. The model is in the shape of the letter “U,” with “ending” at the top left of the U and “beginning” at the top right of the U. Once you end your current situation, you begin to descend toward the bottom of the U. At this point, you start to see the bottom coming closer and out of fear tend to fight to stay where you already are or to go back to where you were.
For example, maybe you were feeling great after the breakup but after a while, you start to think that being on your own is too scary, so you try to reconnect with that person, and in turn go back up the U to the past situation. It's tempting to go back to the known, but Bridges advises strongly against this. This is because the most important part of the model is actually at the very bottom, known as the "neutral zone," or the "learning zone." This is the time when you're struggling to find a new beginning, and to get back to your comfortable, happy place in your life. If you ask just about anyone about a time when they struggled to find the next step they should take in their lives, and worried endlessly during that time, it's rare that they would tell you that they learned absolutely nothing about themselves through the process and gained no clarity whatsoever.
People between jobs sometimes discover an entirely new career path that they would have never explored if they had not spent time in the learning zone. This zone is so crucial because it fosters personal growth, as well as understanding and creativity. Eventually, a new opportunity will present itself and you'll be better prepared to be on your way up the U to a new beginning.
So, as these last few weeks pass us by, try to take a moment out of your hectic day to look around yourself and appreciate the best things about your life here at school. If you're about to graduate and move into the real world, take a quick look around the campus you've called home for the past four years and appreciate it as a student for the last time. It's way too easy for these last few weeks to become a stressful blur, but do your best to recognize the fact that this chapter in your life is about to close. Don't worry too much about not having all the answers, or about having your whole life figured out at this very minute. You'll fare far better if you can appreciate what you have in the moment before you find your new beginning, and open a new chapter in your life.
