Do you have that song? You know the one. It's the song that stands out from the myriad of songs you've heard in your life. It's the song that makes you the strongest you have ever felt while making you the most vulnerable you have ever been. It's the song that you're convinced is written specifically for you that simply makes you stop and actually listen. If you've found that song, think of it while reading this. Every emotion it evokes, every beat, every rise and fall of the lyrics. If you haven't found that song yet, it's okay, because you will. And when you do, you'll want to replay it for a month straight and people will tell you to turn it off.
Turn up the volume.
The end of freshman year of high school, I heard a song that wouldn't change my life, but would lead me to the reason that did. I first heard LIGHTS, a Canadian "electro-soul" artist, by chance when a friend’s iPod was on shuffle. Over the rest of the summer, I dedicated my days to listening to more of her music, while coming to terms with the fact that Lights is indeed her legal name. I always enjoyed music, but something about this was different.
Sophomore year of high school, dealing with personal issues became too much to handle and every healthy coping mechanism I knew quickly went out the window. When I first heard 'Face Up', my issues didn’t suddenly disappear. Life as I knew it didn’t all suddenly seem to make sense. In fact, it became entirely more confusing. But, in the greatest way I could have imagined. This song helped me finally feel something stronger than the desire to understand where I was headed.
I felt determined.
Beginning with the determination to find the emotional strength to get out of bed to currently working with the determination to take the world by storm, while possibly sporting winged eyeliner with a coffee balancing on top of a stack of books in one hand, this determination has held its own for almost four years now. Negative coping methods have been slowly but effectively eradicated and replaced with healthier ones. As I hugged Lights this past year, it solidified the determination to be content with taking one day at a time. Lights finally helped me acknowledge that sometimes life gets messy and it's "dark out, but you still gotta light up" and that "you need to wake up, gotta keep your face up."
Music not only has the capability to heal. It also has the power to somehow awaken the inner god/goddess inside us, which can eventually lead to dancing on top of tables, in the middle of streets and alone in your room when you think no one is home. It can create memories that you'll look to when you can't remember how to keep your face up. You'll remember the nights hoarsely singing pop-punk in a dimly lit room with some of the greatest people you've come to know. You'll remember your classic "middle school" music scene and shudder, while, without shame, knowing all the lyrics to songs in your poorly organized playlist. You'll remember falling in and out of love and every laugh and tear that comes with those songs saved in your library. You'll remember your parents' favorite songs and watch their faces immediately light up as they tell you stories from their glory days. You'll remember the first time you and your best friend shared your favorite song with each other and how it became the unspoken true beginning of your friendship.
Life is too short to not blow out at least one of your earphones from listening to music too loudly. So here's to finding your song—turn it up and fall in love with your glory days.
