Throughout our life, we are told that it’s OK to be sexy, but it’s not OK to expose our bodies or be sexual. People have this crazy connotation that a woman who dresses seductively or is a sexual being is less pure. I can remember being in middle school and having to wear skirts that passed my fingertips when putting my arms flat. In high school I was told I needed to change because I had on a top with thin straps. Apparently having your shoulders exposed is quite distracting to boys. When I’m at the beach, I’m stared at and whispered about because I have big boobs (you would think that no one has seen breasts before). My point is, every day I’m told what I should and shouldn’t wear. Every day I’m expected to act a certain way so I can meet society’s standards. If my beliefs differ from those around me, I’m treated differently and I don’t entirely understand it.
As I’ve grown into a young adult, I’ve attained a sense of pride in being a female and embracing everything it means to be a woman. At 19, I feel comfortable in my own skin. I am empowered by my sexuality. I’m no longer interested in hiding my body and I’ve come to embrace my curves. Do I have flaws? Absolutely — but my imperfections don’t define me and the opinions of others no longer concern me.
Lately I've been realizing how often we sit around and slut-shame women when we have no right to. We have all struggled before and being proud of the person you see in the mirror certainly does not happen overnight. If a woman wishes to show herself off to the world, who's to stop her? Our entire lives, we’re humiliated for our sexuality and we are defined by how we choose to express ourselves. We hide our individualism by succumbing to meet the standards of school dress codes. We’re taught that we lose our innocence in sex. Our parents tell us from a young age that our virginity and our sexuality is a gift that we protect until some worthy character walks into our lives and we decide that they are good enough to have it. When a woman decides to sleep with someone, people say she “gave it up” and I’ve never been able to comprehend this concept. I’m not “giving” sex to a man so he can walk around feeling good about himself. I’m not a game he can play or a prize for him to win. I do not belong to him - I belong to myself, so if I’m going to sleep with him, it’s for me. I’m supposed to feel guilty about it and I don’t see why. Sex is a natural activity that both men and women desire and I’m not going to apologize for being in control of my body and my sensuality.
That said, the double standard is still ever present in today's society. A guy can sleep with girls left and right and everyone says, “He’s a boss.”— yet if a girl f****s around, she’s a slut, even if she’s only sleeping with one person. I’ve heard over and over again that a girl who likes to have a lot of sex has no decency and no guidance, but we never say that about men. I, for one, don’t believe a girl is misguided or clueless of her self-worth for having sex and I don’t believe she should be degraded for doing it for her own benefit. In fact, I think she’s living her life better than all of us because she’s living according to her own rules rather than living to please a man. I find that to be admirable and I praise the girls who are embracing their bodies and are proud of everything they do.
It’s 2016. If you talk sh*t about a girl for wearing a short skirt or having sex then I feel sorry for you because you're spending more time talking about someone else’s life instead of living your own and focusing on yourself. It’s time we end slut-shaming and start accepting women’s choices. After all, it’s her life, her body, and her sexuality and you have no right to comment.
