Hello Shyness, Please Go Away

Hello Shyness, Please Go Away

"I've always been, Shy!! I confess it, I'm shy!" - Once Upon A Mattress
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I wish that I could be more outgoing and would stop worrying about how people perceive me but I guess no matter what, my shyness will always get the best of me. I have had a lot of new experiences this year that have made me go back into the shell I once had in high school. I wish I could be more confident in myself but I do not know if that will ever happen. I thought that my shyness would decrease during my college experience but clearly I am still shy, just not as much. As a teacher candidate, I hate how my shyness affects my teaching because I know exactly what I want to say during my lesson but I never fully portray it well because I get afraid of the unknown of what might happen - (the student won't understand the content, I am not performing as well as I know I can, etc.)

I know that my shyness can have an advantage at times - like how I can easily empathize with others because of how sensitive I feel when I do not come out of my shell as often as I would like. However, there are many times in my life that I wish I could be my true self without the fear that I will become vulnerable to someone (friendship or relationship) and I will never be good enough. To most people, I am the kind of person you want to be around because I am always in a good mood. But that does not mean I do not struggle too - I self-doubt a lot of the time and my anxiety does not help with me being shy.

I just hate how my shyness holds me back from many things in my life. I often fear that I will not be the best teacher I can be because I easily trip over my own words. I know the content well, yet I have a long way to go as far as learning HOW to teach something and present it well. I know that as years to come, I will become more comfortable in the classroom and will not be so focused on my own teaching and will concentrate on the student's progress. But as of now, I cannot stop thinking about how I can easily appear unconfident because of my pure and utter shyness. It sucks!

As I have mentioned before in my previous articles, I was always the kind of girl in high school that barely spoke up in class and I only did when I had to or if no one wanted to answer the question and I was comfortable enough about the answer. Otherwise, I did not fit in well due to my shyness. To go from the shy girl in class to becoming the teacher in the classroom is a vast change that not a lot of people understand other than myself. I just hope that someday, I will become the teacher that I envision myself as one day. In the meantime, I am trying so hard to work on becoming less shy and more open with people. I do not think I will ever become "not shy" but maybe I will learn to be more confident in myself as a teacher candidate and an individual.

Cover Image Credit: Allbartenders

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A Typical Week In College As Told By The Grinch

You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch...
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When your alarm goes off for your first class of the week and you want no part of it.

No. No. NO. NO. NO. NOPE. NO WAY.


When you realize you have 3 exams, a quiz, a project and a meeting in the next 2 days and you get a liiiittle grumpy.

If this hasn't been you at least once since September, you're lying to yourself.


Planning out your day after class.

Priorities, am I right?


When the stress starts to get to you.

Because food is always there for you, ya know?


How your brain feels by mid-week.

College hurts.


When you've been trying to pretend that you don't have emotions in order for you to not have a psychotic meltdown but it happens anyway.

I'm just gonna leave this here.


When your roommate watches you cry and roll around on the floor like a toddler and asks if you wanna go get food.

Because Wings Over is the ultimate mood booster and soul-satisfaction.


When you're done with classes for the week and you think about the killer nap you're gonna take.


No better feeling.


When Friday finally arrives after a week of talking to no one besides your roommates and the questionable voices inside your head, and someone asks you what your plans are for the night.

Let's face it, going out is great, but so is sleeping.


After you've finally gotten out of bed and ready to go out, and you know you look hot as hell.

"Tell me how good my ass looks in this. Seriously."


But then you realize that you don't have shoes to match..

"Maybe I can go out barefoot...that's a thing, right?"


After you finally get your shit together, you call an Uber, and you and the squad show up to the party ready to make bad decisions.

Let's get weird.


When you find someone you haven't seen in forever at the same party as you and you get a little too excited.

"Oh my God, you're just like, the best. Have I ever told you that? Ugh, I LOVE YOOOOU!"


When you wake up the next morning and you and your roommate talk about all of the crazy shit that went down last night.

Hair and make up still on point, because you were way too lazy to deal with that.


And most importantly, when you've been an absolute bitch all week, but your friends still love you anyway <3

Love you humans, couldn't do it without ya!

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To The Stressed-Out College Student Preparing For Finals, Some Encouragement

"...I've had a few moments this semester where I was ready to give up..."

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Dear College Student,

We know this time of year spreads holiday cheer, however, it is also a time of pressure and anxiety. When we think of this time of year we associate it with the stress of studying for finals. Personally, being very involved on campus; and as a hard-working student both in my studies and with my extra-curricular activities, I feel being as involved as I am comes at some expense.

Not only has this semester been kicking my ass these past few weeks, it has been kicking my ass this semester as a whole. The classes I am taking are very challenging, but they are allowing me to grow personally and as a student. I'll be honest, when I get stressed it usually ends with me putting my face in my hands in frustration. For some, you can relate, for others, showing your emotions makes you feel vulnerable and weak. I've had a few moments this semester where I was ready to give up. But with my perseverance and desire to excel, that's what keeps me going. I think about the "why" to give me the strength to move forward. Why am I taking such a difficult load of classes this semester? Why have I come so close to giving up? Why, why, why… I'm taking these difficult classes to get to the light at the end of the tunnel, getting a teaching job somewhere in the New Jersey or Pennsylvania area to do what I have been passionate about since nine years old, inspire students.

For those times when I felt defeated, it's not for those to feel pity towards me, but rather for me to let my frustration out. One thing I love to do is channel my inner emotions and write.

My suggestions to you in preparation for the least anticipated weeks, is to give yourself some "me-time." Whether this consists of going for a drive, taking a nap, spending time with friends, or spending time alone, writing down your feelings, or letting them out, take time for self-care. It's the least you can do for yourself, considering the hard work and dedication you have put into this long, semester.

It's important to not regret what you've felt or what you've done thus far into the school year. As a firm believer in everything happens for a reason, there's a reason you didn't get that position in a club, didn't get the best grade on a test, etc. These reasons can range from learning from mistakes, building yourself up, or learning to cope with not always getting what we want.

So please, I encourage you these next few weeks of the semester to

1. Work hard

2. Stay positive

3. Let your emotions out

4. Don't be afraid to ask for help

5. Take care of yourself

Best of luck to all in your studies!

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